Passionate love relationships often end faster and more dramatically than either of the partners could have ever imagined. Why does this happen and what does it have to do with Santa Claus? The first explains the letter. Many people mistakenly believe that the spark of joy and enthusiasm they feel at the beginning of a relationship is true love. They place all their hopes and dreams in the hands of this significant other who is perceived as some sort of Santa Claus who came into their life to fulfill all their wishes and save them.
The Santa Claus syndrome is what you’re dealing with when you suddenly break up with the person you imagined would be the love of your life. These break ups are never easy and they are more than often accompanied by violent burst of jealousy, unpleasant discussion or even insults.
So, how does one usually end up in this situation? Specialists blame it on hormones. The chemical reactions your body produces when you fall in love with someone literally mess up with your mind. Shakespeare was right when he said that love was blind. More precisely, it makes you blind and ignorant as you fail to see reality for what it truly is. With all those hormones you can hardly control, your body takes control of your mind and you idealize, you think that the person you fell for is unique, extraordinary and meant only for you. You imagine that the universe sent him or her to you in order to bring balance to your life and become your inseparable mate. You stop thinking logically and you ignore all the flaws the other person has.
However, the fairytale doesn’t last forever. After you get used to having this partner around you and after your hormones calm down, you start noticing things that bother you, things you were simply unaware of at the beginning pf the relationship. Then, you voice your concerns and you start criticizing the other person who doesn’t fail to defend themselves from your harsh words. From this point, there is one more step until you’re out of this relationship and this step can be swift or it can take a while before one of you has the courage to say stop. Regardless, the outcome is always translated into suffering, frustration and sorrow.
Those afflicted by the Santa Claus symptom often struggle with one or more of the following symptoms at the end of their idyllic relationship:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Social alienation
- Food disorders
- Compulsive-obsessive behavior
- Personality disorders, even suicidal tendencies
We all have the right to believe in Santa Claus, but, as adults, we must face the fact that it doesn’t exist. He is just a reminiscence of our dreamy childhood days when we believed that anything was possible. Instead of hoping that Santa Claus will come inti our love life out of nowhere we’d better start working on building him step by step by growing up and becoming more aware of ourselves and what we want in a relationship.