We are subject to other people's critical view ever since we are born. No matter what we do or what achievements we might have, there will always be someone out there who is not convince that we are on the right track. Most frequently, that someone is a beloved one and he or she will do their best to persuade us to change our ways and make different life choices.
Who has never been nagged by angry parents who have a different view on what you should be doing at a given age?
Whos has never been criticized at work for how they perform or the course of action they took to solve an issue?
Criticizing and striving to change others is only human and it is such a common attitude that we might even fail to realize when we do it. However, this doesn't make it the least unpleasant. I mean, who likes to be told what they should be doing and to feel that their judgement is continuously judged?
Most of us react defensively to others' critical views and their wish to interfere in our plans in order to shape them according to their set of values. Nonetheless, this response is not healthy, nor efficient and it will most likely bring more worries and increase the tension between the critic and the criticized person.
So, in order to keep our mind sane and tranquilly proceed on our chosen path, we ourselves have to stop trying to change those who criticize us. Because, often, what we are basically doing is mirror their attitude. When we are being told what to do, we become irritated and, in our turn, instead of accepting the fact that the other person simply can't understand us, we try to change their view so that it coincides with ours.
If a your parent tells us that it's time to start taking things more seriously and behave like a real adult, the first natural response is to tell them they're not right. Of course, they are not right from your point of view, from the perspective os someone who simply wants to live freely and enjoy life. But, form their point of view, they are absolutely right and completely entitled to ask you to behave more responsibly.
Bringing counterarguments and trying to explain to them how you feel and what motivates your choices, might turn out to be a useless effort. People who play an important part in our life or those who represent an authority for us, will never let go of their grip.
In conclusion, we have to be wiser and simply stop fighting them. Trying to change others who are trying to change us usually doesn't get us anywhere as you can't fight fire with fire.
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