Feeling a little sooky...

I've been chatting with an amazing couple of steemit, they're going through some really tough times and it's had me thinking about my Dad. I lost him almost 4 years ago to cancer. He was 56. From the time of the initial cancer was found to when he passed it was less than 2 short years. He had esophagus cancer and yes he was a smoker! He had surgery on the first lot of cancer, he almost died after the surgery because he continued smoking and put himself at great risk. I knew he was still smoking, I can smell it a mile away but others had no idea. He manage to recover after a long stay in ICU. He got better but it was less than 8 months later and he got more bad news. The cancer was back but it had spread and it rare and aggressive we were told.

It was a tough time. He lived out his life doing, seeing and collecting all the things he had ever wanted. But then he got bad and quick. He was due to go on a cruise and he wasn't great but he left anyway. The cruise didn't end being so great. He had a number of falls on the ship and ended up needing medical attention. He ended up in a wheelchair as he just didn't have the strength to hold himself up any longer. He was sick and in a lot of pain. I think as bad as he was he tried to enjoy it as best as he could. That was his last trip.

My parents got back from their cruise and my Mum informed me how bad he was. He had to go to the hospital but he didn't want to, he never wanted to. I stepped in though and told him I was taking him. I lifted him and put him in the car myself. My Mum and I took him to the hospital and he never came back home.

My parents had recently bought a house just a few streets away from me so I could care for him and Mum could still go to work, not only that, Mum would be close to me once he had passed. I had to take care of the settlement of the new property, sell their old one, I packed and moved everything and got everything set up in the new house while my parents were going through the worst time of their lives.

Dad was in hospital for nearly a month before he passed. The last week was horrible. Really, really horrible. We were told when you're dying you get to chose an easy way or a hard way to die. My Dad chose the hard way... and boy was it hard!! In that last week both my Mum and I lived at the hospital 24/7, we never left. One of us was always with him. We cared for him more than the nurses did but we were happy to do it. We just wanted to make him as comfortable as we could!

This is a photo I took while my Dad was still able to talk and move (just). The holding of my Mum and Dad's hands... it doesn't seem much but that was the only bond they really had then at that time. Looking at it makes me feel sad, upset and a little sooky... but on the other hand I really cherish it.

For anyone out there going through difficult times... my thoughts are with you all! xx
Thinking of you Dad <3