Much of what I know was learned about how to approach my life is from playing pro sports in Europe and USA for 14 years. The lessons. The mental battles. Being focused. Tuning out distractions. Joining the community. Understanding teamwork, dynamics, and rising to the occasion. Letting go of fear, anxiety, depression, and how to communicate across cultures, diversity, and backgrounds happened because of hoops.
At 22, I left for Europe and started with a closed mind. At 36, I came back with an open mind and some very important lessons learned.
My belief systems and ideas or right and wrong can always change as I learn new ways to look at what works.
Adaptability and communication are more important in the heat of battle.
Focus and intention are about practicing and deliberately doing less, not more, but really giving your all in one area of improvement day after day.
Now that professional basketball is over, creating new business, passions, and purpose has been a colossal soul question of mine. Staying true to myself has taken me to the brink of wanting to not live, to wanting to not die, to wanting to travel the world, to wanting to help others find their own answers like I had too.
Literally, my soul has ached and bled out with wanting something as passionate as basketball. Basketball was pervasive to me. It took my whole being over, my skin, my mind, my soul, my muscles, the atoms inside me tingled and gave me hope, work, productivity, goals, and pushed me to the outer limits of my physical, mental, and spiritual capacity.
But what I thought was fact, was in fact, fiction. The journey of any sports team, or player, as they try to rise to the top of their profession is just like anyone that wants to aspire to greater accomplishments, whether it is business or marriage or being a better parent or wanting to become something and sustain your life with it.
- Personal success comes down to what you want to focus on becoming and how quickly you decide to let go of what doesn't help you get there.
Many of these sports epiphanies were made and battle-tested in and outside the lines of winning championships, losing championships and everything in between. I was lucky to win conference, state, and national titles in high school, college, or the pros.
Winning validates many people, including me, but looking back, what if I hadn't won? Would I have focused on a sport that didn't give me validation? Would I have played and worked without feedback, success, and feeling like I had some natural talent to cultivate?
To be honest, I'm floating in the same boat. Writing is a passion of mine. I have to get out what is in my head. I have written since high school, since Mrs. Flynn, my English teacher told me she enjoyed reading my thoughts (again, maybe we all just want to be validated at what we are good at). But even if she hadn't told me I had some talent, I would have still written. It was part of my existence. It was part of me, just like basketball was. Something I knew I had to do. Something that drove me to pick up a pencil and write because of how it made me feel.
For years, improving my writing took a back seat to sports, but what I loved about sports was I could see improvement by focusing on what skill I wanted to improve. And this is an important, simple fact about sports and life: the more you focus on improving something, the better you get at it.
- The real issue isn't always people's innate talents, weaknesses, or strengths, it's the speed at which they improve, and the core indicator of their rate of improvement is how and how often they choose to focus on improving the skills necessary to succeed.
There is a term in sports that every competitive athlete knows. Two-a-days. While most athletes despise that word, it became my life, my therapy, my joy, and my zen. I started trying two-a-days in middle school. Almost every hour I had free before school, or at lunchtime, or after school was spent voraciously focusing on improving at the game of basketball.
My performance goal as an 8th grader was to do my basketball dribbling workout 365 days straight.
I knew the odds of me getting a D1 scholarship sucked. But the battle to focus and embrace the struggle was part of the fun. Could I wake up? Could I get another workout in? Could I say no to my friends that wanted to go to the beach? Could I say no to video games? Could I say no TV? Could I say no to calling girls (on yes, a rotary phone)?
Damn, fam. Life is tough on the streets as a single teenager or a 38-year old dad-bod man.
My ability to focus and cut away distractions helped me succeed. I was lucky to even play and get paid. But yo, it was not as glamorous as you think. The house, the car, the doppio con pannas, the fans, the media, everything pro sports entailed, it is all just a reminder of how hard it is to succeed at something you truly love; how much focus it takes to win at something that most people give up on.
Now my life has changed, no one will pay me to put a leather ball in a metal rim, but I can still use the same lessons, focus, and principles for success in finding future crafts, passions, careers (like writing), and happiness. Much of my life has been about learning how to improve my body, my mind, my connection to the energy beneath our thoughts to unlock better performance; to be authentic, practice my weird, and focus on aligning my time with my most important goals, values, and energy.
Every morning, I put an hour aside to learn, study, and become a better thinker, learner, businessman, partner (to whom, I don't know yet), and creator of my passions. On certain days, I read Brian Johnson and watch his videos. He is a leadership coach and his mission is to condense and add together the best of psychology + leadership + stoicism + sports performance + life hacks + happiness + science books into small nuggets of practical information so we can practice OPTIMAL LIVING in our daily lives.
Brian often talks about the idea of the practiced, yet disciplined pursuit of less.
I have to say no. You have to say no. Learning to be more productive starts with you setting aside time to learn how to be more productive, just like being a better jump shooter means I need to put aside more time to learn proper technique and game-like drills to become a better shooter.
- Sports taught me that improvement is never-ending, we must focus becoming an infinite loop of growth in the skills that help us succeed.
As a writer, taking classes, reading, listening to videos, building an audience, learning how to market, learning SEO, tapping into my network, and being a student of the writing game. In business, there are so many ways to infinitely grow. In education, in art, in music, in anything, there is an infinite number of ways to grow and focus on improvement.
There are days when I wish I could play basketball again, but I know I can' t pursue that path anymore professionally. It won't put food on the table. It won't help my body heal. I can't win those fans back with behind the back passes or 35-foot jumpers, nor do I want too.
But I wish I had thought about this question while I was still playing.
- Invert your life for a moment. If you lost everything, where would you start next?
What would the worst thing that could happen to you? To me?
Yeah, I could die. Death is always close to me. I want to recognize it, accept it, and cherish the time between my death and the death of my family and loved ones. Throw a coconut margarita party for me tomorrow if I kick the can into Lake Michigan. Worse, my loved ones could die. My friends could stop liking me. I could lose my health. My family could lose their health. I could go broke. I could lose my hair, oh wait, that's already happening!
What would you do if everything was taken away, but you had a chance to do anything you wanted? To reinvent yourself?
If I had to start at zero, I would start by living frugally. Maybe even like a rat. Live in a complete state of focus on what I wanted to create next. There is nothing else for me to do but focus on what is next. This next line. This next startup. This next phone call to a potential client. This next book or inspirational video to read. This next moment, without distraction, with complete focus on being and becoming what you want.
Invert my life, take it all away from me and I'll move to the cheapest room/apartment (thanks brother Damon) I can find and start writing about my life, starting building an audience, starting building a business I am passionate about and start working to find people I value.
The real struggle for me wasn't basketball. It was having the discipline to go all in, day after day, moment after moment, and letting go of all distractions of modern life: telephones, computers, social media, Instagram, TV, Netflix, and begin simplifying and aligning your life with the focus to win your big thing.
What is the definition of simplicity? From the world Latin word simplicitas, to simplex, to today’s word, simple. But what a cool word. Simplex. Does it remind you of its antonym, complex?
Complexity isn't your friend when it comes to distractions. Pro athletes get distracted. They get bombarded with fans, stalkers, and people that want their attention.
Here is story. No British cyclist had ever won a Tour de France. Then a guy named Sir David Brailsford created a team called Team Sky and he said they’d win a Tour in five years or less.
People laughed. They scoffed. No way. But he had a simple formula for his team. Focus on making as many small wins as you can every day. Nutrition. Sleep. Consistency. Love.
Do less of what doesn’t work. Do more of what does. If you eat sugary food and feel bad, simplify your diet, and stay with the organic, all-natural stuff. If you stay up late and feel tired the next day, go to bed earlier by shutting off your phones and computers and give your body the recovery it needs to be productive.
If you skip your two-a-days, why? What did you do? What changed or needs to change? Who did you say yes too that distracted you? What did you waste time doing today? If money is the problem, and you have to work more, where can you lean your expenses down, save, and invest in yourself again?
- FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR SMALL VICTORIES WILL BE TOMORROW
Figure out what small things you can do to become a better player. Start focusing on them. Figure out what isn't working and do less of it. Simplify your life around these small marginal victories you can achieve every day by focusing on the big things and getting the small distractions out of the way.