Tendencies

I recently committed myself to a few disciplines. Things that would only benefit me in the long run. And I started small to not overwhelm myself. However, the first time temptation presented itself, I caved. I do this thing I do...I rationalize the shit out of it. I tell myself everything I need to hear in order to proceed with what I really want to do. I tell myself that it is not a big deal. That I can recommit later. That I'm only bending the rules. That it is just this one time. And the biggest lie of all...that I could really say no if I wanted to. I constantly find myself running back into the arms of my bad habits. Those arms I know so well. The familiarity that I love. 

How do I even go about working on this? I feel so bound to my patterns. Rationalizing is a deeply embedded habit of mine. I do it all the time. Often without even realizing. I guess where I start is with simply catching myself when I begin to engage in this behavior. And by being a stickler with my disciplines. I have to treat them like the fucking law. I need to make my habit to never rationalize. Once that is established, I can let off a little.