You don't know what you have until you lose it, that saying is so true.
Growing up able bodied being able to do what I wanted when I wanted, moving around without pain. I grew up loving gymnastics, my biggest dream was to be Olga Korbut, I modelled myself on her, wore my hair the same way, practised all her work and got her floor work off to a T. I would use wall as beams, doing cartwheels, walk over, back bends, I was soon on walking in my hands more than my feet. I loved to be able to put my body into weird positions, I could throw myself about and land on my feet.
That soon stopped when I hit 14 after jumping over a wall and smashing my knee all my dreams came crashing down around me. I couldn't carry on with gymnastics as my knee wouldn't support me so I tried to be a coach, that didn't last long as my knee wasn't strong enough to support me never mind being there for anyone else.
Going from able bodies to disabled is a massive change as you can well imagine. I pushed myself to cope year after year, working my way up in the jobs I had but having to wear support bandages. I was doing OK until I reached 30, I had lived with the pain since 14 but after having my first born, one Christmas tidying away her toys my leg went, I couldn't straighten it so off to hospital I went, this was the start of things getting so much worse.
Going through 9 operations, with none of them doing me any good, one operation was done wrong back in 1995 leaving my leg in the wrong position for 20 years before they had to re-do the operation. Now to get around I have to use a stick, support bandage and a brace.
Now not being able to do things that I took for granted before such as:
Taking my dogs for a walk,
Walking up stairs, not having to do one step at a time then rest.
Getting and out of a bath/shower and washing yourself
Washing a few dishes
Making a meal
Driving a car I loved t drive, I used to go for a drive to clear my head and get some fresh air
Getting dressed
Going to the toilet without praying to yourself you make it in time.
Going shopping
Its not just not doing them it realising you will never be able to do them again, never being in control of what you do and where you go. Always having to depend on someone to help you, the feeling of being left behind and lonely.
That is one reason I have stopped using Facebook as much, I don't want to see holiday pictures, people having fun, doing things I will never do again, it was to sad to see. Don't get me wrong I was happy for them but felt like I was missing out, being left behind and forgot about.
Don't take what you have for granted, enjoy every minute you have and do as much as you can, don't waste a minute.
Thank you @son-of-satire
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Thank you :)
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It is indeed a great reminder Miss @Karenb54. We do indeed take most things in Life for granted and only come to miss them when we don't have them anymore.
But I believe that every negative thing that happens in our Life is in a way or another a blessing in disguise. Maybe you wouldn't have become this great writer you seem to be today, if it wasn't for that accident. Maybe many beautiful things wouldn't have happened if it weren't for it. You probably can analyze it better than me.
Thanks you for the quality post! I am not following :)
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I also believe what you say not about being a great writer but being the person I am today, Thank you :)
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What you say is so true! Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for visiting :)
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Thank you for the reminder karen54, we do take things for granted and only realize that when it or they are gone. I can relate to how you feel I love running but hurt my back and I will never be able to run like that again, and I work with children each day that's bodies are deteriorating each day , but we must find other things that we can do well. You write well and I enjoy your blog a lot! All of the best for you.
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Thank you, I hope you are OK :)
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Oh my God, that's such a sad story:( Is that you on the photo? I never was that flexible, it's fantastic!
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No that's Olga Korbut, But I could do that and more, not so much now lol
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Fantastic... Never, really never could do such things
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I loved chucking myself around. it felt good :)
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Ah Karen! If I was around I'd take you shopping☹️ Even if it was in a wheel chair.
Is that you in the black and white pic?
Also- I can't believe the doctors put your leg in the wrong position. LIKE, how does that even happen????
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No that is Olga Korbut my hero, I could do that too :)
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I won't say that I know what you're going through csuse I don't. But I do know how it feels to lose something you love and whatever you do...it is gone forever. But it taught me to accept and let go and be happy with what you do have. Because not being able to fully enjoy and appreciate the things you still have, may cause you to loose those as well. So everything has a purpose in life also the experience of being disabled. Find out while you are sipping every drop of happiness you need to let in.
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I am trying I am a lot more positive than I used to be :)
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Stay strong ! Living in pain is a curse, but you still can enjoy beautiful things of life. Take care of you, and focus on the positive ! Peace to you.
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Thank you, I am trying, I now do meditation which does help :)
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Good, meditation can bring lots of benefits! I had a road accident two weeks ago ... I wasn't hurt but, damn, it made me think about a ton of things about my life.
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I am glad you are OK, That must have been so scary though :)
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Thanks. Yeah I was on my scooter, and a car didn't see me so I got hit, but luckily, the scooter took the most of it and I just got a couple of bruises on the legs... it could have been much worse, so I'm grateful
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Could have been much worse, glad you are OK :)
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Thanks :)
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You are very right dear friend @ karenb54 in what you say, thank you very much for reminding us to thank and appreciate the simple things in life.
I wish you a happy rest
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Your welcome dear friend Thank you for visiting :)
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This is a great reminder. We sometimes wonder why certain things are allowed to happen to us and we rarely find out why. All that I do know for a fact is that good can come from any situation. God never wastes a hurt and it seems that even though you may have bad days, you are being positive and you are sharing your story. Instead of moping or doing nothing you are keeping busy and sharing what you have learned. In return you will inspire and help others in their own lives. Whether it is to be stronger or just appreciating what they have. So glad I have found you on here, following you now. Stay strong
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That's really nice of you to say. I'm off to the pain clinic will come check your blog out when I'm back :)
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Hi Karen, is that you on the picture? wow that is being flexible!
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No that's Olga Korbut my hero I could do that back then now I would break my back
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Nothing in life is granted, even the life itself is not guaranteed, it could be raken away at anytime. So, its better be down to earth, live life with peace, show some kindness, help others and embrace your pain because it'll lead you to a greater tomorrow :)
Thank you ma'm for this wisdom that you have shared :)
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Thank you for reading and leaving a lovely message :)
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I noted you find it difficult to drive, to the point where you don't drive anymore.
I worked for a quadraplegic, and we fitted out his vehicle so that he could drive. He has no use of his legs at all, so all the controls needed to be for his hands. He also could only apply 5 pounds of pressure, so the controls were also quite easy to operate.
I am sure that you can drive. You just need to search for the proper controls, that will not tax your knee.
Good luck!
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That is true but its the pain that has stopped me
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I myself know chronic pain well, unfortunately. I hope you can find a way to fit a vehicle to your particular needs. I note that my quad friend was not in pain, he just was mostly paralyzed.
I also can not drive for too long, as the position - even in a good seat - causes my back to object vociferously.
I think a reverse incumbent position would fix the problem, but I remain unable to implement such a plan due to economic realities. Also, I am hardy, and just suck it up when I must. I do not recommend that to those less inspired by suffering than am I LOL
I wonder if a different kind of seat might also enable you to drive again? Also, soon you may be able to use self driving vehicles to clear your head. At least, I hope they become possible in the near future. It has too long been merely science fiction, and the technology is clearly becoming mature. I reckon regulation will remain the last obstacle to the promise of such development, as it often is.
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I don't like the idea of self driving cars, I like to be in charge. LOL
I have pushed myself so much with driving , but the pain has got so bad plus I lose the feeling in my foot which isn't good whilst driving. I have to get used to been driven around. :)
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LOL I also like to be the DRIVER, not merely a passenger.
Sadly, economic realities do limit our potential to remedy the challenges we face. I do think a reverse incumbent position may well offer you and I considerable relief during driving, and hopefully there will be more vehicles with such seating, and retrofits for current models too.
I have seen a trike that had such a seating arrangement, but somehow can't find it to link it now =/
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I am thinking about buying a scooter then I can go out by myself :)
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Ride hard, die free!
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I'm so sorry. God bless you.
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Thank you :)
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