Whether someone is bad or good, Isn't set in stone. It's something that is heavily debated amoung people. Having certain people in our life has certain benefits. Some people you may wish to remove because they are a bad influence, Or They just make you feel miserable.
This is why children are often clueless on what is good or bad, And parents take the responsibility of teaching them, What kind of people they should spend their time around. Our society dramatically influences this, And it evolves overtime. Not very long ago, Women were expected to manage the household. Women who refused were frowned upon. Some people still frown on women doing their own thing today. It's crazy how things change.
If you don't want to remove someone from your life, How to do you do it? This can be a hard thing to pull of sometimes, But with your time being precious. It's important that you carry it out.
Tell Them!
This is my favorite approach. I don't like to "Candy Coat" things. Or be phony. Many people in my area are like that, And it drives me nuts. This is probably one of the harder ways.
You would have to flat out tell them you no longer want a relationship with them, And you'd like to part ways. It's funny how this method is mostly used for romantic relationships, But we often don't' even consider this method for friends or family members.
You can throw in reasons to justify your action, But this may cause a fight, They may argue what you are saying about them. It also may cause more damage, But at the same time most people would curious and ask why.
Let Them Fade
Another way of removing them, Is avoidance. Some people will probably catch on to what you are doing, And leave you alone. While others may not even notice. Then you may have other types of people who may panic and bother you even more.
I'm sure we can all think of time where someone gradually faded from our lives. We stopped talking to them, We are friends on Facebook for a while, Then someone does one of those "Facebook Cleanings, " and someone gets removed. It's sad, but it happens. This method could work, But if it's someone who is close to you, It may take a long time for it to happen.
After Advice
Usually, I don't recommend it Because things could get ugly fast. It's also rude to offer advice out of the blue when it's not asked for. But this is something you could attempt.
If your reason for disliking the person is simple Like they put on too much perfume on each day and you are annoyed by it. It's not hard to just say something.
Be sure to not put the person on the spot. Don't make it seem like an attack.Just nicely address the issue. Sometimes people do things without realizing it, And they don't even realize it's a problem. At times, Offering them this advice can actually do them a favor.
I fell out with a close friend, she was toxic caused a lot of trouble we had words that was 6 years ago never spoke to her since, I have seen her around but never acknowledge her. Best think I did.
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Sometimes It's much better to get those people out. Hopefully you found much better friends :)
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Sadly i don't have any lost all my riends when I became housebound but do have a few Internet friends :)
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Like the saying goes "you are the average of the 4 people you spend the most time with"
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Exactly :)
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Relevant book that discusses toxic personalities and "serenity vampires." E-book and audiobook versions are free downloads direct from the author. http://michaelwdean.com/UMFTHE/
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Ohh thank you :) That definitely adds to my post in case people really want to learn even more.
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I like the post!
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Thank you :)
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Thank you captain obvious for making me feel smart about knowing things. I will check back in for more helpful tips and tricks on doing things that some if not all of us many face and not want to do at one point or another. Oh the brilliance of life.
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