Detachment.
A lot of people misunderstand the meaning of detachment. They tend to think that it means to be numb, depressed, lonely, or somehow emotionless. But that’s not the case.
When you’re detached you still feel emotions, but as the word suggests you just don’t attach to them.
You realize that every single emotion you experience isn’t something that happens to you — it’s something that you alone create.
The following is a quote from Viktor E. Frankl, a holocaust survivor who wrote the life-changing book called Man’s Search for Meaning:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
It doesn’t matter what you are going through — you can choose how you respond to it. You could be a prisoner in a concentration camp, as Viktor E. Frankl was, and this idea still applies.
This is a hard thing for a lot of people to swallow because they want somebody to blame for all the shit that goes wrong in their life.
But if you see your situation as an obstacle, a burden, or inconvenience, then that’s on you. You chose that. And likewise you can also choose to see it as an opportunity to develop your character.
Now just because you’ve read an article about this doesn’t mean that you will be able to go and immediately do it. Most of us don’t have enough control over our emotions, and so in tough situations our emotions get the best of us and we lash out in anger, withdraw in fear, or so on.
Detachment is a quality that comes from a process of dis-identifying with your emotions, and one way that we can do that is through meditation.
Sit there for 20 minutes every day with no goal or objective other than to simply watch your thoughts.
After about a month you’ll notice that you’re less phased by hardship, failure, embarrassment and rejection. You begin to realize that those things don’t need to ruin your day.
You are more in control of your emotions, and instead of letting them dictate your behavior you are able to act rationally and intentionally under situations of high stress.
And don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you can’t experience happiness, fulfillment, ecstasy, love, or excitement. In fact, with your increasing emotional control, you’ll experience those things even more strongly than before because you can choose to.
Life is to be enjoyed, but it can become a dark, cold, and scary place when we are constantly living in fear and reacting to our circumstances.
When you’re in control of your emotions you can detach from all the negativity and suffering around you and just enjoy your life.
What do you think? Any questions? Leave me a comment.
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