Allow me to open my curtains, take a look through my window this evening! See what I am doing.
I was looking for something to say, I've been told that I can talk so much sometimes. I've been encouraged that what I have to say matters, people want to hear a mind tick. The People want an insight into another life, it is sensational!
As promised, It is Saturday Night, I am currently at home. Most people my age are out, getting heavily intoxicated, being social and maybe even sleeping about if they are "lucky" enough. My generation sounds like a mess, I don't feel the urge to do these things, It baffles me. I feel I need a picture of some sort of party environment, hold on!
Because of this very reason, I find it hard to stay relevant and in contact with most of my peers. I often wonder what makes them feel the need to be this way? That brings me back to my first point, People want to hear a mind tick, an insight into each others life. I'm in an endless loop of fascination.
I guess this is there way of dealing with their own minds, sometimes we just need to get out of our own heads. Sometimes we need to feel a sense of freedom, in town, we are adults who can run-a-muck, drink "responsibly" and meet other lost souls and fall in love for a night. Only to return to our ever so mentally exhausting selves.
Wait; Here is another photo, this one is actually of me!
This is from a time where I felt going out to get "white girl wasted" as I call it was fun :')
Tonight I'm looking for an escape, tonight I want to get out of my head. I work full-time, I'm consistently battling this war inside of me: Do what I love vs Work, earn and survive another day. I finally have some down time with tonight being free and tomorrow being my day off. I am currently listening to a great playlist of songs to break my heart, I take some time to listen to the music, let it affect me in its on way and then move to the next song. I'm not trying to drink feelings away or fake being happy til tomorrow morning. I want these songs to move me, I want to feel this way for a while, get it off my chest, over my head and out of my life until the next time. Why make ourselves sick? Why make ourselves incapable of speech or impair ourselves of movement? Some find it fun? I find indulging in music more fun, rewarding and it doesn't have mainly negative side affects.
Before I go, I'd love to encourage you to have these battles with yourself. Do you really need to go out and get blind drunk tonight? Are you that different from the rest of us? What makes you happy? In turn! Why are you not doing it?
If you're answer is "I don't know" then you should have a long hard think with a night in. We are all lost, its okay to be. But sit back and take a moment to try and get that step closer to finding yourself!
That's all guys, Have a good night! Till the next time!