New Growth in Rocky Soil - My Husband's Inspiring Life Change at 45

My husband turned 45 this past May. In February, before that significant birthday, he discovered that he had one year left in his very long-held retail management position due to companywide re-organization. There's no doubt it has been a kinder 'goodbye' than many people get. There was a real danger of him going into work and being told, "You're dismissed. Goodbye." It happened that way for the layer of management above him, but, for whatever reason, his layer was given this year-long opportunity to find another job, basically.

(Though, the real reason is, of course, that his layer of management is on the floor and actually, you know, runs the store. So if they'd been summarily dismissed, the place would have fallen apart. The company's ultimate goal is to either get these former department managers to 're-hire' at significantly lower pay rates, so they can retain their experience and knowledge, and/or to use this year to get these former managers to train up new, lower paid employees to take over their duties.)

Once I knew that we were going to be safe for the short-term, I wasn't worried anymore about whether or not we'd be okay. My husband has demonstrated to me over the years his ability to dig down inside and gut out tough situations, and also the lengths he'll go to take care of the family. For years he's worked long, hard hours, where he regularly exceeded 20,000 steps a day, lifted and moved heavy objects, and dealt with a rough, rotating schedule that always kept him sleep-deprived and off-balance with the rest of the world. It was not only a physically difficult environment, but also an intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually barren job with little to no opportunities for personal growth. He usually came home completely drained and unable to truly pursue the things he was passionate about. He also missed a lot of our daughter's events and life as she's grown up, because he's been so busy providing the base income and insurance that we needed to get by.

(By the way, I've always worked as well, but not in the same kind of grueling way that he has for all these years.)

When he first got laid off, we both initially thought he would simply get another retail position and hope for the best. After all, 18 years of experience in multiple retail departments and levels of various management would surely be a coup for another store, right? Well, honestly, probably not. That's not really how retail corporations work. And retail as a whole is on the way out as Amazon has basically replaced nearly every conceivable store that isn't food related.

Still, I was surprised as hell when my husband came home and announced he was going to sell insurance. As I related in THIS POST, I have a long history with insurance sales and financial instruments in general, and all of that informed my initial reaction to his decision.

The thing I never want to be is the "unsupportive wife" though, so encouraged him to do what felt right, and to give it a go. He still hasn't left his retail job because he plans to stay until February to max out his 401(k) opportunities, vacation, and that all important family insurance. But he got his insurance license in April and has been steadily learning the ins and outs of the job he's chosen to pursue.

In fact, he just got back from a four day conference, and he is on fire, inspired, and lighting up in ways I haven't seen in years. He sat with me at the kitchen table and went over all the notes he'd taken in the seminars and break-out sessions, excitement pouring from him, even though he was exhausted from the drive home, and three nights of sharing a hotel room with three other agents.

"It's all about personal growth," he said. "[Soon-to-be Former Employer] never cared about that. They just wanted to use you for as long as they could, as cheaply as they could. But this organization wants us to grow as people."

And it's true. Not just of this organization, but of many, perhaps even most, insurance organizations. It's a damn hard business, insurance, and part of being able to stay in it comes down to being inspired and taught how to be the best you possible. It's amazing the ways that insurance companies truly want their agents to grow and develop as humans, and not just as interchangeable robots who can do something like mix up a can of paint.

My husband is reading books for the first time in years, and taking notes and implementing ideas about time management, and focusing on interpersonal relationships with mentors he admires. I don't know why I'm surprised at how hard he's going at this, that's always been in him from the start. But I am surprised by how hungry he is for personal development, and to be around people he admires and respects. I shouldn't be surprised...all humans crave and want that in their lives! But I hadn't realized until now just how absent this has been since, well, his college years.

Part of me is tempted to regret that he's spent so much time in such a barren landscape, but another part of me thinks it's only now that he's ready for this. He tells me, "I need to up my game for our daughter. I need to show her that she should expect better things in her life, and that it's good to keep growing and changing as she ages. I need her to know she deserves a father who has time to be there in her life, and I want to be part of it more."

So, wow! We're having a Middle Age Renaissance in our house, and it's cool! I'm curious what the next year or ten will bring. How very different things might be in just five or ten years time! And what an exciting adventure to go travel that time together!