Starting over and over and over

This is the bit I don't like. Getting started again after a break. I want to be flying, crushing, peaking, whatever the thing is that I'm not right now. I want to be ticking off all the things on the list. I want to be pounding through the middle of it all, not sitting on the sidelines wondering when, and whether, to jump in, or not.

There's a different kind of starting over, which is not about having taken an enforced break for cultural reasons. Instead it's about picking yourself up when you've fallen down, dusting yourself off and starting all over again. This requires some humility. Some acknowledgement that you've fallen over in the first place. And this isn't as easy as it sounds. Most times when we're going astray, it's little tiny steps off the course that you don't even notice.

It's like the guys at the start of 'American Werewolf in London' when they leave the pub, they have every intention of sticking to the path, but they get talking and then it starts raining and even though it's very clear to everyone watching that they've veered onto the moor, they're oblivious, until... OK, so most of the things we need to recover from are not as catastrophic as being attacked, killed or infected by a lycanthrope's bite. But whenever we notice that we're off course the pain of admitting it to others is often greater than dealing with the problems that it causes. And that's the descent into the underworld. The slippery slope, the road that's paved with good intentions.

There is only one way out of it. Admitting (to yourself and others) that you've gone wrong, made mistakes and need to start over, and then the willingness to keep admitting it and not be dragged back onto the previous course.

And then when you do that, it's much easier to remember all the times that you've done this before and all of the tools that you've used or even made for yourself to help you get back in the groove.

The difficulty though is determining whether you're admitting you've gone wrong or you're giving up before the miracle. And that's where a friendly ear can be most useful. Having others who can give you a bit of objective perspective is invaluable, those who know you well enough to get whether you need to reboot or persevere with this thing that seems to be failing, just a little bit more.

Onwards, friends!