I feel like the older I get, the more fucked up my head gets... Luckily my OCD wasn't extreme, because I realized what was happening pretty soon and started fighting it.

"Nobody I like will die."

One day I thought about the death of someone close to me and I felt really bad - as if me thinking that could make it actually happen. I had to say "Nobody I like will die.". It escalated to the point where I had to say it at least 7 times in the morning and many more times during the day, otherwise everyone would magically die.

I was saying this constantly, I didn't want people to notice, so in public I had to say it silently or figure out other ways. (like writing it down) It was getting really bad, saying it hundreds of times in a day. I felt like it's a prayer or something, I'd say it before eating, sleeping etc.

Counting

As my OCD graduated, I started getting obsessed with other thing, like the water tap, the lock in my door, the oven - dangerous things like that. Always checking if I let the light on, if I locked the door, if the water tap is off...
Checking was ok, but then I started locking and unlocking, turning on/off - "If I don't lock/unlock 3 times, the door will be unlocked." "Better turn the water off 7 times just to make sure..."

"Nobody I like will die - 21 times."

What I did

Instead of saying - "Nobody I like will die." , I started saying - "Stop saying stupid shit like that!", "You have no power over death!" etc.

Instead of turning things off/on a number of times, I always made sure to turn it off really carefully, so it's really turned off.

Yes there were times where I felt like saying "Nobody I like will die" a 100 times, but I just said Fuck it.. Ok, maybe I said it once or twice. But no more 1000s of times a day.

Nowadays I don't say that magical phrase anymore and I don't count random things. I'm left with counting to 3,7,11 & 21 - when I work out, those are the rep numbers etc. But no irrational off/on or things like that.

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