I did not know what true suffering looked like until I visited Peru. Within the first hour of my arrival, I saw starving old men, children in ragged, dirty clothes, and dead or starving dogs in the street. When it comes to materialistic possessions, most people in Peru have nothing. Their houses are in shambles and their water is dirty. It's baffling to me then, that the main focus of the Peruvian government is to cut more and more of the rainforest down every day. And for what? Soy farms to feed the cows and pigs that will end up on someone's plate today. Clearly money matters more than both the welfare of their people and the welfare of Mother Earth.

I grew up in poverty in the United States, but compared to the people of Iquitos, I was rich. I wish I had understood that as a teenager. I would have saved a lot of my energy that went towards caring about what kind of clothes I had for things of actual importance. Lesson learned.

I felt for these people deeply. I realized how blessed I was to come from such a different world and came to realize that I cannot waste my blessings on bullshit. If I have the resources to do it, I have to do all I can to do my part in healing our world.

When I got to the Iquitos airport to leave, a man came out to help me with my belongings. He was very willing to help me, but he was also very pushy. I didn't ask for help, but he insisted. Then after he had given me the help I didn't ask for to begin with, he demanded I give him money. And because I've seen the struggles of the Peruvian people, I was willing to help him out. I told him I'd have to get money out from the ATM, which would be the first and only time I'd use my debit card in Peru. Out of four ATMs, the man pointed out the one that I "needed" to use. I did as he told me, and I gave him what I thought he deserved.

Fast forward one month....

Two days ago, I had a very strong urge to check my bank account even though I don't use it very often. Listen to those little urges you feel! They could save you from disaster, or at least catch the disaster while it's happening. During the last five days there were 19 withdrawals from two different banks in Peru. In total, I had nearly $4,000 USD stolen before I had to cut my only debit card off.

Clearly there was some panic. My chest tightened, I became foggy. I couldn't concentrate, and I paced back and forth around my house for about 10 minutes not really knowing what my next best move is. That money was going towards my shamanic apprenticeship that was coming up in April. That money was going towards healing our world. And because of this, I've had to push back my trip to Peru, and instead go back to the US to fix this mess. The energy that was going towards healing is now going towards cleaning up someone else's suffering. This left me pretty heart broken, obviously, as I was very very excited to start my apprenticeship next month.

However this situation has brought more good into my life than in did bad. I believe when things go wrong or get messy, it is life who is giving you a wonderful opportunity to learn new things. So here's what I've learned from this disaster thus far...

Cryptocurrency is awesome

I've actually been really scared to invest in Bitcoin. Why? Because it's a foreign concept to me. Learning about Bitcoin is like learning another language. But after my money was so easily stolen from my bank account, my irrational fear of Bitcoin has turned into a very RATIONAL fear of continuing to use the federal reserve.

This was one area where I couldn't seem to unlock the doors to my own mental slavery. But I am an anarchist, and I believe this was a little bit of a push from the universe for me to start acting like one; to free myself from the state a little more. And I've already taken action. I'm reading books on Bitcoin. I have wonderful friends who are huge fans of cryptocurrency and they're helping me understand it better. I'm actually taking action to learn more about the concept and why it's important to invest in.

Don't let someone steal your inner peace

After my visit to Peru, I became very interested in the Buddhist philosophy. I recently watched a fascinating documentary about the Buddha's life. He wanted to understand suffering, and even went as far as making himself suffer for years to understand why people suffer. Eventually he became enlightened and realized that suffering starts in the mind, and is projected outwards into the physical world.

I could be very, very angry at the man who stole my money and created chaos in my life. And a year ago, I probably would be. I used to wish suffering on the people who I felt made me suffer. I finally came to the realization that if anyone is creating chaos in the world, they are suffering. The more chaos someone causes, the more suffering is going on in their minds. Can you imagine how much the people in power must be suffering if this is true?

Last night, all I could envision was the man nervously going to the banks to draw out my money so his family could have nice things, or eat foods they normally wouldn't be able to afford.

I am not saying stealing is ok. It absolutely is not ok to steal and obviously goes against basic human principles and causes more suffering. But I know that in order to infringe on the rights of others, someone has to infringe on your rights first. This is a vicious cycle of pain. And normally that cycle starts with government, and that shouldn't come as a surprise.

I am frustrated with the man who stole thousands of dollars and has created chaos in my life. I now have to put a lot of unnecessary time and energy into fixing it. However, I sent him thoughts of compassion and love instead of anger and hatred.

I truly don't believe our world can heal without compassion.

Whatever the reason he stole my money for, I forgave him; for his freedom, and for mine.

Gratitude

This is by far one of the most important things we can learn while we are alive. I have a gratitude journal that I write every day in. But when things get messy in life, I think we sometimes have a hard time counting our blessings because we are so focused on the bad.

Last night I tried something I had never done before. After I realized my money was stolen and after my mini panic attack subsided, I went to my patio that overlooks the ocean. And I said to myself, "What do I have to be grateful for in this moment?" I counted at least 15 very detailed things in that moment that I had gratitude for.

Being grateful, even when things are shaken up, brought me back to my home base; my center. I was in the eye of the hurricane, where in the middle of all the chaos, there is calmness.

I think we have wonderful learning opportunities when life becomes hectic. I think that's the point of our dark times, actually. And I believe it is our duty to learn as fast as we can. If we become too attached to a specific thing that happened to us (be it good or bad), we can become stuck in a cycle of fear or pain and miss the opportunities to learn.

"Here today, gone tomorrow. Don't get too attached to things."
-Harold and Maude