Becoming better by embracing who you are
I’m from Ohio.
Moments before Game 7 of the 2016 NBA Finals, I called my father to ask who he thought would win.
“Dad, who do you think comes out on top?” I said.
His response included no statistical or historical analysis, no mention of the Cleveland curse, no reference to LeBron James or Steph Curry.
“Which team is more humble?”
“Cleveland”, I said, half out of bias and half out of belief. “Golden State just looks entitled this year. I think they’re in their own heads.”
Forty-eight minutes of basketball later, Cleveland brought home its first championship since 1964.
Obviously there is no direct, one-for-one correlation between humility and winning. That would be absurd. Like winning the Finals after going down 3–1 absurd. But I do believe, like my father does, that there is a real, palpable, competitive advantage to humility. Why?
Humility offers you the chance to be better than you were yesterday.
Let me unpack that.
Humility isn’t entitled
Few things handicap people more than entitlement. Who knows, maybe nothing does. And I don’t mean you should always have zero expectations or work for free. What I’m talking about is entitlement that extends beyond your needs. Think you’re long overdue for that promotion? Probably. But every second you spend feeling like it’s owed to you makes you less valuable. Why? Because entitlement makes you less competitive, less hungry, less productive. It makes you a victim.
Struggling with feeling this way? I’ve been there. A mentor once told me the best way to combat workplace entitlement is to intentionally accept your circumstances. I’ve tried this; it works. Every day, make it your choice to bring your best game and forget about your need to “be the man (or woman).” It’s impossible to play the victim when it’s your choice.
Humility isn’t intimidated—it’s confident
There’s a major difference between meekness and humility. Humility isn’t afraid of failure. It’s vulnerable. Humility demands the real you. Only when you are truly you can you grow. Now, I guarantee not being afraid of failure will lead to as many mistakes as the alternative. But a humble person’s mistakes aren’t embarrassments as much as they are learning opportunities and insights into areas where you can grow.
Humility isn’t afraid of failure. It’s vulnerable.
In engineering, there’s a psychological handicap known as Impostor Syndrome—the fear of not being as skilled or talented as you’re perceived to be. Unfortunately, it’s a real and terrifying struggle for many engineers. At some level, we will always feel like we should know everything about engineering, regardless of experience.
If you’ve ever felt this way or do currently feel this way, you have every right to—it’s a real emotion and a constant pressure. But let me challenge you with this: Humility doesn’t care if others know the real you. The moment where the end of your technical prowess is realized should never be made embarrassing. How else are you to learn? How else will you be presented with opportunities to grow? Learning humility should always be correlated with learning more about yourself. It lets you become comfortable in your own skin. It makes you genuine. It makes you human.
Humility makes you a better leader
The humble manager hires employees who might be better, who might have more potential, and who might climb the ladder faster. The humble manager is more concerned with the success of their team and finding affirmation in watching their people achieve their goals. In contrast, an arrogant manager cripples themselves and their team by hogging praise to ensure they are top dog. The humble leader embraces the limitations of their own abilities and goes to their best people for insight. A foolish leader believes they are the smartest person in every room, and are hindered by what they don’t know they don’t know.
In this manner, humble leaders set themselves up for success not only by attracting and retaining top talent, but also by gaining a clearer picture into the inner workings of their team. This immediately impacts their ability to support and enable what works and identify what doesn’t, making the whole team efficient, productive, hot fire.
At Rocket Code, our most outspoken company value is “Ever Better,” the idea of perpetual forward movement rooted in a foundational understanding of who we are, and fueled by a hunger to be better today than yesterday. In this regard, humility is our greatest asset.
So how do we celebrate success without losing our competitive advantage? A close friend of mine said it best: “Be affirming, not flattering.” Flattery cheapens praise and stunts growth. On the other hand — grounded in reality, affirmation begets positivity, and honors outstanding moments, yet keeps us humble. It’s a good thing.
Bringing it in
Competitive humility is an art. I’m lucky to have comrades who help keep me in check. I highly recommend it. It’s damn near impossible to be self-aware enough to know where you are in the humble–confident–arrogant spectrum.
So find a mentor, or someone you trust completely, and ask. It may be tough to hear, and it’s only natural to be somewhat defensive, but I promise learning humility will not only make you more competitive—it’ll brighten your outlook on life, freeing you to become the best you can be.
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