My wife is a wise lady
The other day, I was out having coffee with the lady after a short cycle to Port Adelaide. We were chatting about how nice it was to be back in Adelaide again when the wife commented that we really hadn't taken the time to take stock of how much had happened over the past 12 months and just how drastically different our life is now.
And, since we hadn't stopped to breathe over the past few months, I realised just how right she was. Not that this should surprise me, wife is typically right about everything.
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A 2018 to remember, but not so much for the happy times
We had a completely insane end to 2018:
- I sold my business
- We travelled to Peru and hiked the Inca Trail the same week that the business sold
- I started full time employment again, and my wife changed positions as well
- We moved interstate
So she's entirely right that now is the time to sit back and re-assess after so many drastic changes.
Would you like fries with that?
It's taken a while, but our lives are now calming down and we can actually take a look back over the past few months and what the impact has been on our lives.
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For example, wow... I've put on a tonne of weight. I remember being at a family event at my Sister in laws house a few weeks ago. One of the people at the event actually had the gall to walk up to me and say:
Mazzle, I just wanted to ask you if you know how much weight you've put on recently.
Normally when someone states something so personal in such a blunt way, I'd respond with a rather blunt comment in return. But in this situation, I was so taken aback and shocked that I simply mumbled something and walked away. She was right, I had put weight. I knew my fitness was at a low, but I didn't realise just how badly I'd let myself go during this time.
Everything that we'd done over the previous months and all the stress that we were under had taken its toll.
- I was stress eating
- I knew my fitness was horrendous so I was too embarrassed to exercise in my gym in front of my clients
- I was drinking more than ever
- And quite simply, we were so busy that exercise and eating well seemed like an incredibly low priority during this period
So of course my health had taken a hit. I still wish I'd put that person and their highly insensitive comment in their place however.
Who needs to sleep anyway?
The thing that kept me going during this time was pretty simple: Everything that we were working towards was going to improve our lives substantially.
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The business was collapsing around me and I no longer had the energy in me or the resources available to lift it back to a profitable position. And while I was devastated to be in this position, I was incredibly fortunate and thankful to be offered a fantastic position with a mining company in Victoria, and even more fortunate that this position paid very well. The money that I would earn was enough to lift me out of a dire financial position quite quickly.
The real challenge started when I needed to run my business, manage the sale of said business, and commence a full time position, all at the same time. To say that the stress levels at this time were high would be quite the understatement. I was quite literally working 16 hours a day. So with minimal sleep 7 days per week over a period of 2 months; exercise and healthy eating was never at the forefront of my mind.
Who ever said MORE money meant more problems?
All the above was just one side effect though. Imagine what your life would look like if you had no income for 3 years. What things would you neglect during this time? For me, it was simple:
- I didn't visit a doctor for close to 3 years
- I saw a dentist on one occasion during this time
- The only new clothing that I received were gifts from friends and family
And I was lucky. My wife earns a good income, so I was able to rely on her to pay the rent on our home and buy groceries. And when things got really desperate, cash sales from the business helped me out in a big way.
So, when commencing employment once again, I was more than happy to deal with 16 hour work days given that my bank account would soon be looking much healthier.
And of course, there were the other big changes coming very soon: We were planning a move interstate, and my wife was starting a new job as well. Moving sucks at the best of times, so moving interstate just adds to the frustration. But we knew that we were moving back to be with family again, so this kept us motivated.
And then there was our trip to Peru in the mix as well. It sounds really odd that we had this trip planned while everything else was taking place. And it certainly added to the stress levels. But we'd been planning the trip for 12 months and had no way to back out. So the trip had to happen, and I was so glad that we did it. It certainly hurt the bank account, but it was truly an incredible experience.
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Breathe Mazzle, things will calm down
So after all this, and with things finally calming down, we find ourselves re-establishing our lives. Literally everything has changed in a matter of months.
- We're back in our home town, close to our family and closest friends
- We're both earning a good income
- We have time to spend together as a married couple once again
- And we're living in a home that we actually enjoy spending time in (our house in Melbourne was shockingly bad to say the least)
- And veggies! I have the most amazing veggie patch now!
So despite all the stress and challenges that we faced over the past 12 months, we're in a much better position now. It's been hard going, and it's easy to focus on all the difficulties that we faced over the past few years and feel negative and dark about everything that happened. But the thing that I keep going back to, is that I'm with family again. And we haven't experienced that in 12 years.
And even better, we have more time together now. Sure, I work away throughout the week. But I have every weekend free, and while owning a business, the only day that I didn't work was a Sunday. So that sucked.
The thing that prompted this post is quite laughable: I was in the city today to buy some new clothing. I walked into a store and a lovely shop assistant asked me what I was looking for. And it dawned on me; I had travelled into the city because I knew that I needed some new clothing. But I hadn't really thought about what clothing I needed to buy. And the reason for this was simple: I needed to replace my entire wardrobe given that I hadn't bought a single piece of clothing in 3 years.
So, $1346 later. I have a new wardrobe full of clothing.
I feel like I'm starting life all over again.
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Fantastic that you can relax a bit more now and enjoy life more :)
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Absolutely mate. It's a whole new life now.
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:-)
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Swanky, mate.
Sounds like you needed this. Maybe you both did. No point marrying someone if you're just going to see them briefly every second Sunday.
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We really did need this move. It sucks leaving friends in another state but it's not like we can't travel to see them. In fact we'll be visiting friends this weekend while attending their wedding that will be held over a 3 day period. :)
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That's divorce, when you do the kid handover.
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So that's a wardrobe filled with 5 pairs of blue jeans and a handful of shirts? I got two shirts on Saturday and that was almost $150!
It is insane how quickly everything piles up on you when you're immersed in work, and I'm glad we have another Adelaide steemian!
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2 pairs of chinos, one sports coat, 3 shirts and 3 ties. I was also buying clothes so that I had something decent for a 3 day wedding this coming weekend. :)
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I hope you find some balance now. And gym time that's not also work time
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I hope you find some
Balance now. And gym time that's
Not also work time
- choogirl
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
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Thanks Choo. My gym time is at 4:30am every day on site now. :)
I don’t want to spend time in a gym on weekends.
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If it’s any consolation, the only new clothing I’ve bought recently is underwear 🤣 wow last year was pretty insane for you! Glad things are calming down and looking great now 😄
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Such a great post, @mazzle! You and your wife deserve this new-found success and stability. And I'm sure you'll get back into shape soon.It sounds like you're still in a stabilizing phase. It makes perfect sense.
This post is probably the inspiration I need to post about my last six months, and many of the changes in it. Stay tuned!
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The getting back in shape thing will happen soon enough. I just need to find a good rhythm. Definitely write about your last 6 months. I want to hear about what you’ve been dealing with.
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Hey, @mazzle.
Man, does it feel good to be on the other side of all of that stress and upheaval and uncertainty, right? Whew. :)
I keep getting the feeling that fitness, health, physical well-being, etc., is important to people. Still haven't really done much for myself since the last time we might have talked about it, so I'm the absolute last person to be handing out any advice on it.
However, I can't blame you one bit for gaining weight—from what I can tell, it's about the easiest thing a person can do—so while you'd rather not, and now you're back to getting pointed in the healthy direction, weight and bad eating habits and lack of regular exercise are things that are going to happen during those times you've been through.
So, life is good, getting back to a new, nicer normal, and the vegetable garden provides the eats. Woohoo! Onward and upward. :)
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Hey. Thanks for the comment mate. Yes, fitness and health is incredibly important to me. I don’t feel happy and stable mentally unless my fitness is at a decent level. So being unfit doesn’t work out well for me.
Gaining weight is all too easy. It’s not a bad thing. Since it lets me know when my lifestyle isn’t right.
I can’t wait to see the veggie patch next week when I’m back in Adelaide.
:)
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