Mental Health Nation | Blog #012 | Family - Blood isn't always thicker than water

Most of us are brought up in good families, taught blood is thicker than water and that family will always be there for you. Its not just family that bring us up to believe this, schools, media and friends also engrave this into our minds.

This belief/ideology we are taught however is often far from the truth and can upset us when it doesn't happen. It also makes people without family think they are missing out on the best thing in life when although it can be good, it does have faults like everything else in life.

I think the problem is that we are taught to be able to always rely on family, when in reality they can just as likley let us down. Its best to only rely on yourself but if you have people that can be there for you, don't expect 100% reliability as its just not possible. Even though some families tell us we can rely on them all the time, they are trying to show they want to always be able to help but the truth is everyone has their own things that come up and eventually your family will be unable to help sometimes.

Help from family is one part of the family ideology, we are brought up to think that these are the people that are supposed to be always there and never hurt us but unfortunately family can be just as useless and horrible like everyone else but this can hurt more as we are told they won't. It would be far easier if families brought us up with a little more honesty, they might not mean to let us down but been told 'always' doesn't help.

It can really affect children being promised things and being let down, if families said they will try or probably before saying they will do something, this allows us to accept that life doesn't always go to plan and things get in the way sometimes. Also believing family won't ever hurt us is stupid as we are all humans and being related doesn't change our behaviour.

In my opinion, sayings like blood is thicker than water or you can choose your friends but not your family are a load of old fashioned rubbish. This only keeps are expectations of family high and leads to disappointment, there are a lot of selfish bad family members who couldn't care less about there children or siblings etc. There are so many people out there cut off from family, think of how they feel when they think family are supposed to be there, angry and deeply hurt.

We are born once, we get one shot at life, so rather than waste time being hung on sayings and old wives tales, why not just let those who bring happiness and good things to your life in your life and try not to suffer from those who aren't in it and let us down. A group of great friends who are there for you is just as good as a family who are there for you, if you don't have a good family then its not over. To many people, friends are family.

To me family are people who are there for you and stick around when times get tough, just remember just because you have family, if they treat you badly and always make you unhappy, you don't have to stay put, you can just walk away. Its your life, you deserve to be happy and be around people who are good too you, it will only give you great well being.

Thanks for reading,

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MHG