Stupid just stupid , those are the words I keep saying to myself today , Nicky can't you express self control . Have you ever let something so pleasurable bring you to a place where people trust in you may be wavered or gone , that happen to me , I feel so ashame , feeling of regret as hold me by the throat and is squeezing the life out of me , all feeling of joy , peace and excitement for expectations and forward up news and drain me , feel like crawling up in a corner and die.Die won't . Feel like a giant got me back up in position to attack , this is a gaunt I will have to face I won't run or back down or defeated .pic below was taken from the internet. 
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