The fear of failure, a paralysis

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)
The fear of failure immobilizes us and diminishes our quality of life. In our hands is the ability to overcome it.

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Fear can limit us.
But the fear of failure,it keeps us motionless.

"The biggest failure is never having tried." Chinese proverb.

Because it prevents you from carrying out any endeavor you want to achieve, and therefore prevents you from achieving success and enjoying the good things in life.

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Simply thinking that things could go wrong, makes us feel afraid to be ridiculed and many other things.
Fortunately today you will learn how to overcome definitely the fear of failure and achieve much more success in your life.
But before we know it, let's talk a little about what this fear is:
Many times we do not fail because we tried something and things went wrong ...
But because in principle we do not even try .
And the main reason why many people do not even try something (create a business of their own, start doing exercises, etc.) ...
It is because they fear failure at some point, they fear that things will not go well.
How to know if I am afraid of failure?
Now, to get rid of the fear of failure, it is necessary first to know if in fact we are suffering from it.
And to know, I want to mention several reasons that would betray this fear in your life:
1. You Are Worried About What Others Think If You Fail
On many occasions the fear of failure simply means that we fear what others will think.
The concern of "what they will say" is greater, than the motivation to carry out a goal.
This is born of the need for approval from our friends or family, something that makes us hesitate before undertaking.
Similar to this, the fear of failure may come from the fear of disappointing those who love and trust you.
You simply want to show them that they can believe in you; but the fear of "being left wrong", even stops you from beginning.
2. Doubts Of Your Capabilities For The Failures Of The Past
We've all failed sometime ...
And maybe for that reason, today you think:
  • "I'm definitely a good for nothing"
  • "This race did not help me"
  • "I did not take advantage of the advice of my parents / teachers"

  • "I set up a business and I went bankrupt"

  • "I started another business and it was also a failure"

  • "And tried thousands of times to lose weight"
    etc.

There comes a time when your mind says: " Why are you going to try more? Whenever you want something, you fail . "
And I want to tell you that this is totally a fallacy .
Regardless of the times you have failed, every time you fail you are much more likely to succeed.
In fact, people who just start something, are more likely to fail in their attempts ...
Unlike those who have tried it thousands of times , they are discovering little by little how to refine their path to success.
3. You relate your chances of success with your degree of intelligence
Many times achieving those goals you have in your life, does not depend on your intelligence or your ability.
Sometimes it even depends on external factors, for example of the country's economy.
Obviously not the full responsibility is in these external things, but in part it may be that certain conditions simply do not favor you.
4.You are Super Perfectionist
And finally, the last sign with which we can identify if we are afraid of failure or not, is perfectionism.
When we are perfectionists and we want to polish each of the details, it is perhaps because in our mind we think something can go wrong ...
That some of the elements will fail.
Then we try to have control over 100% of things.
The problem is that sometimes we simply do not have that control .
We simply have to accept that some things suddenly will not be perfect, but at least they will be at their best possible when they leave.

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So, well, if now you have been able to determine that you are afraid of failure ... Quiet, do not worry 🙂

I have a series of steps that can help you eliminate it.

1.Change Your Mindset Regarding Failure

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We have become accustomed to thinking that failure is the opposite of success, but in reality it is not.
Success is to achieve something that we intend to achieve, carry out an action, take the necessary measures to reach a result ...
Rather the opposite of that, is to do nothing .
The opposite of success is staying in the house, sitting, doing nothing .

success on the other hand, implies:

  • Draw a plan

  • To take action

  • Carry out each task

  • Be relatively organized

  • Take your time, Rome was not built in a day

  • And if along the line, for some reason, the result does not turn out as you expected.

Failing is learning ... Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.
If you achieve something by the simple way and without difficulties, you really do not have great learning.
You will not know if you could do it faster, or how to do it better next time, or which way could be more effective ... Nothing.
So if you're going to start something and for some reason you fail, it does not matter! You will learn a lot on the way.
2. Leave aside The "All Or Nothing" Mindset.

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People think that if they do not achieve 100% a goal, then they did not do anything.
90%, or 70% simply is not worth anything.
This is very negative ... This kind of thinking leads to these "Polar Goals".
We must change this by Goals of Progress , of progress.
If for example you want to reach some result in your life (ex: financial freedom) and you did something, but it went wrong ...
You managed to get a little closer to your goal .
Because you will know what not to do in the future and you will try something new that might work and bring you closer to your dream.
So when you focus on seeing how you can progress and progress, even if it's just a little ...
It is when you can put aside the fear of failure.
3. Decreases the Rhythm You Carry Your Life

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On many occasions we get that anxiety of wanting to see quick results.
To think: "If I'm going to start a business, when will I start making a profit? Sure not in the first month, but when? "...
Before starting, one is already imagining that things go wrong.

The idea is to reduce speed a little, take things slowly and think well:

  • What can be those results that I can obtain?

  • How can I grow every day moving slowly?

  • How can I know if I am doing well compared to other businesses or what I should be achieving?

  • and if not why?

Why? Because not knowing, not having control, having no idea how you are doing or if you have progressed ...
It can make you believe that you are going bad when you are really doing well .
4. Be In Harmony with Nature and Life

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Yes, this sounds a bit hippy hehe.
I mean that really life is not perfect, and things do not always go as expected.
There is no one with a magic wand beating it to achieve what is proposed perfectly and without problems ...
It really is very difficult for someone to have 100% control over their life.
And harder still, to have control over the lives of others or the results of something that involves interacting with others.
It is necessary to recognize that lack of natural control that we will always have.
And this is why we should not be discouraged or sorry, but enter into a state of acceptance and well-being with the fact that things may not go well.
I am doing my best, carrying out the best of myself and becoming the best version of myself.
Better than the best, it 's impossible ... Until then I can get there.
Then the results you get, should give me happiness, learning and growth.
5. Save Lessons from Your Failures
If at any time in the past, things have not gone as you wanted ... I want to ask you:
  • Have you taken note of that?

  • Have you tried to analyze what happened?

  • Why did things not come out as you expected?

  • What could you have done better to have achieved it?

Many times the fear of failure is a fear of the unknown.
Fear of not knowing what to do if obstacles arise ... Not having known what to do in the past.
Then, you must be clear every time something goes wrong.
Write down, rationalize the process and leave aside the emotional mind of feeling bad about yourself ...
Rather open the way to the analytical part of yourself, which tells you: "Ok, next time we can improve this, this and this".
The safest thing is that this fear of failure you eliminate permanently.
6. Do not Generalize or Personalize

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You must understand that the results do not define you as a person .
the fact that you did not achieve something, does not make you a loser.
And be very careful with the word "I am", because one thing is when you ARE something, because you can not stop being one ...
For example, I AM Funke; however, I may be fat, or I may be skinny or BE bankrupt.
But if I say: "I AM fat, I am bankrupt ", I simply can not stop being fat .
The idea is that you already have a very careful language in these senses.
If for some reason you do not achieve an objective, it is not because you are a failure, or because you are a good for nothing ... None of that.
But, simply things went wrong and try to define what went wrong and why, and what could be improved.
Therefore, always stay optimistic and know that in the future you can do things right, you can do your best and you can achieve that success at some point.
Finally, the most important recommendation is to continue growing as a person .
Make personal development and growth part of your lifestyle .
Always continue to learn new ideas and strategies that allows you to get exposed even a little bit more in that aspect where you failure ...
To realize that it really is not so bad and that these apprenticeships can really have very valuable things for your life.
The fear of failure is not directly related to the situation we face, or its importance or difficulty.

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It is determined by what we think of that situation, of ourselves and how its results can affect us.

Best example of failure

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The best example is Thomas Alba Edison, who failed 10,000 times before having achieved the carbon filament, which is used in light bulbs.
A reporter asked him, after the 5,000th attempt, if he felt discouraged.
Edison replied that he had not failed 5,000 times, but had succeeded in determining 5,000 ways in which it did not work. "What it means, he said, is that I am 5,000 steps closer to discovering how to make it work."
It is important to remember that the most important scientists at that time, wrote articles where they thought Edison was wasting his time.
But Edison ignored all criticism and continued. He listened to himself and not others.
Can you imagine what the world would be like if, if faced with any error or criticism, all the inventors and scientists had left their projects unfinished?
Failure is an essential partof success.
Each failure is an opportunity to learn and correct.

The only people in this world who do not fail are those who do nothing, who do not even try.
The fear of failure can cause a vicious circle:
The fear of failure paralyzes. Paralysis leads to inaction. Inaction generates a low self-esteem and low self-esteem takes you back to fear. Do not let yourself get caught in this circle!

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well said...fear of failure is the most dangerous thing that has eaten deep into so many people including me....
but i have learnt alot from this piece...
thanks

Hi @adabless i am so glad you learnt from this message even i got to learn alot while i was putting this piece together.
Thanks.
@phunke

you are blessed

This post received a 5% upvote from @morwhale team thanks to @phunke! For more information, click here! , TeamMorocco! .

I feel lyk upvote it with the upvote of the greatest whale
Nice delivery

Hi @japfive never mind since thats your heart desire we will get there consistency is key.
Thank you.

People learn from defeat, anyone shy at conceding defeat will never made ahead way. nothing is perfect when we fail it will spur us on to do more. @theheralds

Well said sir ,thanks for your contribution .

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Each failure is an opportunity to learn and correct.

I give you #flearn, fail & learn.

Flearn nice one 👍👍

The fair for failure is dead itself

Ok thanks

This post is loaded @phunke
I strongly belief that the more you fear failure,the more you scare success away.

Very true.
Thanks

  ·  7 years ago 

overcome fear can overcome everything!

Exactly.

Thanks for stopping by @aaronli

This is a great post, and resonates with me massively! I have a huge fear of failure and I don't really know what it comes from.

Have you heard of 'Imposter Syndrome'? It's not quite the same, although I guess it's really relevant. My old boss told me I suffer from it, and so he sent me on a course that all focused on self-confidence! It was awkward and embarrassing at the time, but I think it actually paid off a little.

I glad you over came your imposter syndrome.
Thanks for your comment.

Wonderful post!!
Fear is bad. Alot of people do not know that fear causes alot more havoc than the cause of the freight. Stay courageous!

Wonderful post!!
Fear is bad. Alot of people do not know that fear causes alot more havoc than the cause of the freight. Stay courageous!

Thanks @pearlumie

The fear of failure is the biggest fear there is

Sure. Thanks

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by phunke from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

Wow,
Well written and perfectly said.

Thank you.

Fear of failure....is indirectly the Fear of success...

Thats what I feel should be the one-sentence summary of this writeup. I believe that you @phunke have successfully cleared all the doubts concerning this topic. All that is remaining now is for people that have read it to actually apply it...which is another FOF.

You mentioned that one of the causes of FOF is this:

You Are Worried About What Others Think If You Fail

I think this is the paramount cause. Many people are trying to please others. They are trying to live their lives to conform to certain standards set by other people. They are living fake lives. In my opinion, I think it isn't fair on a person to do that. He/she deprives him/herself from life. He/she continually discourages him/herself from trying.

And the solution? Simple: LIVE YOUR LIFE!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR SHARING @phunke ...the funky one. You rock dear!

#hug-challenge!

Hi @nairadaddy aka @hugdaddy
Nice summary lets just live our lives to the fullest.
Like the lemonade quote above states.
#hug-challenge

Lolx. Me @hugdaddy....