Your Horoscope for Today

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)

Aires

Your day will be hectic and fraught with peril. On the plus side, you will end up with plenty of source material for that novella that's been bouncing around in your head, trying to get out.

Taurus

You will fall madly in love with a marsupial. It will be unrequited love; he is in love with a duck.

Gemini

Later today, your presence will have a calming effect on two women who've gotten sunburned while stuck at a tollbooth.

Cancer

You will reach the height of your depravity today. From there, your will be able to see beyond the curve of the earth.

Leo

That art project you're working on will be greatly improved by eavesdropping while waiting in line for the oil change you've been putting off

Virgo

The planets slipped out of alignment. You will be A Gemini today.

Libra

In bed this morning when you thought it would be a bad idea to get up, you were right. Too late now.

Scorpio

A tall man wearing a green coat will approach you and make a suggestion. You will find it repulsive, but it is your only hope.

Sagittarius

Today you will leave others in awe of your eloquence. That and $4.21 will buy you a latte.

Capricorn

The problem that you were so concerned about yesterday is not really a problem. In fact, it's the solution. Back to the drawing board.

Aquarius

Fear not the bulging midriff, loose-fitting flesh suits you better than you know.

Pisces

Avoid Aisle 6 in the grocery store today. The Lima beans are on to you.

Pixabay image

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good one