Do We All Deserve Self-Love and Compassion?

Some people are so preoccupied with the concept of judging, pointing out and rebuking those that they think don't measure up to their own ideal of what a good person is like that they end up harming themselves through self-judgment and self-criticism. In fact, many of the greatest leaders and inventors in the history of humankind were troubled by one thing. They realized early on in life that there were two different types of human beings. There were those that were brilliant and creative and these people tried to become like them. Then there were those that had less of a creative spark and they worked ceaselessly to improve themselves and become like them as well.

In essence, then, it is important for us to strive for self-judgment and self-compassion at every single point in our lives. If we can be mindful of the difference between having compassion for others and having compassion for ourselves, then perhaps we would find more peace and happiness in our lives. However, if we feel guilty whenever we fail to live up to our own expectations or when we criticize ourselves for the things that we cannot control, then we will only produce more problems in our lives for ourselves and others. This will only serve to feed negativity into our world and eventually cause us to feel angry and depressed and so it is vital that we work on building self-respect and self-awareness at every single point in our lives.

This is perhaps the most important thing that we should learn in order to achieve self-judgment and self-compassion. We must first recognize that there is an element of kindness in all of us. Each of us has room for improvement and so there is nothing that we have ever done that could not be improved upon. This is true no matter what field of excellence we are working in. With this discovery comes a realization that there is nothing to judge yourself over because you have room for improvement and so you do not need to criticize yourself over every little mistake that you make. Your self-judgment does not need to take over your life; instead, you should work on improving yourself and becoming better so that you can grow in wisdom and insight instead of being frustrated by everything that is said and done in your life.

If we are to achieve self-judgment and self-compassion, we must choose to embrace the good things that happen to us throughout our day and in our lives. If we allow ourselves to focus solely on what is said and done in our professional lives, then we will wallow in self-inflicted negativity because we will never be able to see the good that truly comes from each experience. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of our daily routine, we can work on building our self-esteem and self-awareness so that we can more easily spot the good and try to create positive situations in our daily lives. When we work on being self-kind, then we can start to see the good in every situation and in everything.

The difference between self-kindness and self-judgment is also the difference between being happy and successful versus being miserable and unsuccessful. While there are many ways that we can be miserable, we should always remember that happiness is the overriding purpose in all our endeavors. Therefore, when we are faced with something that is challenging and unpleasant, we should work on building our self-esteem and self-awareness so that we can remain positive even in the face of adversity.

One of the biggest differences between self-judgment and self-kindness is the process of choosing which emotion we are going to express. While some people will use self-kindness and self-esteem to judge themselves, others will express their emotions through self-judgment. For example, if a person is feeling down about something, they might decide that they need to be compassionate or say that they feel sorry. Whereas if they are feeling confident and proud about something, they may choose to express that through self-esteem or self-judgment. This all depends on how comfortable they are with the topic at hand, what kind of response they want, and what the reaction will be from those who care about them.

Many people have difficulties with expressing what they really feel when they are in difficult situations or facing a setback. However, there are times when we are so full of self-judgment that we hurt ourselves more than help others. When we are harsh with ourselves, it sends the message that we don't care enough about our own feelings or the feelings of others to share them. When we are harsh with others, we send a message that it is okay to treat them badly because we can always get another opportunity. When we are self-kind and self-compassionate, the way that we respond to others is much more positive and encouraging.

If we are going to work toward improving the world for those who aren't like us, we need to learn to do some self-judgment and self-compassion on a regular basis. There is nothing that says "kind" and "compassionate" quite like self-kindness. In fact, kindness has nothing to do with judgment and isn't a judgment itself. Those who practice self kindness with kindness also practice self-compassion and vice versa. It is an equal-opportunity form of love, which I hope everyone will take on in his or her life.