What to do if someone tries to convince you to try Steemit (Parody)

I've been trying to get people to join Steemit since I've came back, especially my friends, most of them are wary of it though, and some have led to uncomfortable encounters. I thought I'd write this up as a funny side of it! It's a bit short today because I haven't had too much aggro yet! Hope you enjoy.

***

If you're like me and have a few friends that repeatedly try to convince you to join the super scammy system that is Steemit, then pepper spray at the ready, I have a few tips to keep those fascist capitalists and their free money luring shenanigans at bay.

You may have a really close friend that's told you about this place, but you can never be too careful, nowadays everyone is looking to get one over you. Even your own mother. It doesn't matter if said person has never done a thing to wrong you, ever, and you know full well they are BIG on paying it forward; just don't trust them as far as you can throw them. After all, because you don't understand the system and how it works, how can they possibly understand it? An obvious scam! How very dare they?

Make sure you do zero of your own research whatsoever, peg it down to a scam and move on. These things aren't worth researching anyway when you have a power mind equivalent to Einstein. Research is for people that don't know things, and quite possibly, you know everything there is to know about anything, even if your qualifications extend to one high school diploma and a botched attempt at a McDonalds health and safety training day. Qualifications are for morons. Research is for morons. Good day to you, Sir!

Even although Steemit is free to join, free to climb up the ladder of reputation and rewards, and freer than an unconscious prostitute, something still doesn't quite sit right with you. Free money? That's unheard of. That's got to be a scam. We just don't do things like that in this world in this day and age. It's much safer in the world of Facebook where you are treated like stock, and your data is sucked up beneath you without any reward. Free money? Fuck you on about? Son!

There it is. Investment! Act like a kid that has just had his first hardon, start foaming at the mouth whilst screaming at the monitor, "scaaaaam!" They want me to invest!! Bastards. There it is! Forget that you can do it free, and just solely focus on investment. Citing spam every five seconds whilst going back to your safety net of investment-founded social media.

If you're a bit of a risk taker and do actually see some of the worth that Steemit has to offer, I mean you can join for free, you did see that, then you can give it a try. Make sure you get super bored after two posts of earning two pence on each of them and cry all the way back to mainstream social media. Continue posting for free for the rest of your life. It's not as if those one pennies add up or anything!

If you're a bit of a researcher then it's probably a good idea to do more research than what should be necessary, obviously you have more knowledge than your friend and he needs help in seeing the error in his ways. Calculate everything, and then come to the conclusion that the numbers don't add up, magic money! You're not into that. Forget that coins are minted and that investment is floated on the exchange. Make up your own crazy rules, and never join.

Delete your friend. Or better yet, block them. Twat. Imagine offering you free money, what the hell sort of friend is he supposed to be anyway?

Haha! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed that.