In another life, I was going to be a dentist... 

...and it was going to be so easy! I already had a full scholarship to university, where I majored in finance and minored in chemistry. I held 2 jobs at a time and volunteered at a free/low cost extraction clinic on Thursdays. 

I worked 30 hours a week in a restaurant and another 30 hours a week at a brand new dental office, where I was the dental assistant as well as the office manager. I took x-rays, did cleanings, made molds & casts for dentures and bridges, cleaned equipment, managed dental supplies, arranged lab work, filed insurance, scheduled patients, and worked that suction like a boss. 

I was the perfect dental school candidate on paper...not that I even needed that. 

I dated a dude for a really long time, and his whole family loved me--and most of them were dentists! His stepmother sat on the board of admissions to dental school, and she promised me acceptance. She was also an advisor as well as the professor who did final approvals for graduation, and she guaranteed I would pass with flying colors. 

His uncle was ready to give me a practice upon my graduation. I could have my own office with his cousin! Or his other cousin! Or his aunt! I could be an established dentist with a full rotation of patients right out of dental school, all handed to me on a silver platter. 

I had a red carpet unfurled before me; I would be able to set my own hours and make tons of money (and for heaven's sake, I had majored in finance for the sole purpose of making tons of money), but I was absolutely miserable. I was doing everything I was supposed to do: I went to college, I had the rich handsome boyfriend, I paid off a brand new car very quickly with income from my 2 jobs, I had the secure career path...so why wasn't I happy??

Well, for one, being a dentist is incredibly disgusting. Have you ever put your latex-gloved hand into a warm human orifice?? It's unsettling. Ever seen what meth does to teeth?? It rots them right down to the gum line, where the nasty black roots are still lodged in the jaw--and you have to pop those suckers out if you want to get a fake set of teeth in your meth head. Ever seen someone who hasn't cleaned their mouth in literally months?? It looks like their teeth are wearing sweaters. Dear god, the smells I have smelled...Not to mention that horribly misguided industry is still poisoning its patients with neurotoxins on a daily basis...

Dentists have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession; not even dentists think it's cool to be a dentist! 

I was pretending to be part of that world. I was pretending that money defined the worth of my life. I was pretending that I wanted a career and an esteemed position within society. I was pretending so my family-in-law would love and approve of me. 

And it all sucked, sucked, sucked. 

I couldn't take it any more, and I broke free. It took me a little while to figure out what I wanted to do (travel, yoga, write), and a little more time to get the balls to do it, but I did it and I will never go back! I escaped that hell hole of living according to someone else's expectations of me, and created my own existence where I. am. free.

My life didn't immediately go to happily ever after, and I'm not always sure how I got from point there to point here...In fact, I've recently faced challenges way deeper than sticking my fingers in dirty mouths, like serious karmatic lifetime mission shit. But now I can face my problems with more grace and gratitude than ever, because at least I can wake up every day and say

THANK GOD I'M NOT A DENTIST!!!!!

💛 Sara!