Confident and Self-Doubt: One Fear That Holds Us Back

Self-doubt can be a powerfully frightening enemy. The reason it can be so frightening is that it takes us to an unfamiliar place and makes us look for signs and portents in the experience rather than looking for the clear vision of our greatest purpose. Our greatest meaning lies, not in the destination, but in our choosing to get there. To move forward is the easy part, the scary parts come when we realize that the path is not clear.

Self-doubt can be a difficult emotion. We might begin to doubt ourselves, our abilities and our talents. It can also be accompanied by intense fear. This intense fear, when we experience it, can leave us feeling immobilized. Fear of what?

When I was growing up, my father would occasionally visit from a place called Africa. As a result, my mother would dress me up in garments that were reminiscent of my father's travels. She bought me African figurines and wall carvings. The point was to allow me to imagine that while he was gone, I was still a kid inside. This was a powerful method for me to deal with my fears about leaving home and exploring my true self.

Over the years, my imagination had grown. I imagined myself skiing, surfing, dancing, being a doctor, being an astronaut, living in the White Mountains, traveling to sunny climates on horseback.... Some were more realistic than others. However, if I ever lost sight of the point, which was just to focus on my greatest passions and to trust my instincts about them, I got caught up in my own imagination.

We can find peace and safety in knowing that no matter what our fears, our capacities are greater than our fears. This doesn't mean we don't fear at all. It simply means that we must learn to release the fear and trust that we are capable of doing whatever it is we desire to do. If we do this, we will soon have found our peace.

Sometimes my greatest fear has been death. I imagined myself slowly dying and then becoming a vegetable or even cooked alive in my own cooking. These fearful images ran so strongly in my mind that I found it hard to get out of bed in the morning! It took a great amount of effort to overcome my fear of dying but once I did, life was beautiful again.

Some people turn their fears into realities by making us feel small or insignificant. We may be made to feel insignificant because we're afraid of something that someone else clearly doesn't need to worry about. Or, one may make us feel small because of our lack of ability to do something that someone else is perfectly capable of doing. Often, we react emotionally to something that's really none of our business and that's why it's so important to choose the right path for ourselves rather than get emotional over a situation.

If our goal is to become more self-doubt free, the first step is to examine how you are treating yourself. If you believe that you are doing things incorrectly or don't like what you are doing, change course. Be honest with yourself and deal with your fear. Don't allow self-doubt to paralyze you from living the life you really want to live. You deserve it!

Another way we can empower ourselves is to simply face our fear. This may sound counterintuitive, but if you fear something, you can certainly overcome it. The only problem is that some people hold onto their fear or their doubt far too long. They are afraid of living a normal, confident life, and they hold on to the fear of not being able to meet a certain standard or role they see in their life.

It's important to take one small step at a time and slowly but surely move towards your goal. If you're afraid of speaking in public, start small. If you're afraid of having impure thoughts, learn to speak more cleanly and confidentially. If you have low self-esteem, there are many ways to build your confidence one little step at a time.


If you let self-doubt stop you from taking action, then you won't accomplish anything. You may feel like giving up, but the truth is, if you don't fight for your goals, you'll never achieve them. Sooner or later, you will confront your fear and win. As the old saying goes, there's no such thing as a born leader, but everyone can become a leader if they choose to.