Loving even the pieces you hate.

in life •  6 years ago 

Loving all the pieces of you.

My teeth have been a source of serious self consciousness for me for most of my life. (I was made without 4 of my adult molars so my alignment is way off). Hating them so much has actually stopped me from doing things, going places, and aided in my own self sabotage of many situations. I used this an excuse for being rejected and unlovable. To name a few.

I was scheduled to get braces a few years ago but my benefits cancelled before the insurance went through and I had to forfeit. Perhaps another divine intervention for my souls evolution. (Like the time I didnt get a boob job - thank God)

I had a (very short term) boyfriend once ask me "why dont you get braces?". Which at first was a direct hit to my self esteem, but then he said,... I can tell how uncomfortable you are and you never smile with your teeth in pictures. He Wasn't wrong. Although a loving approach would have said. "Why don't you just love yourself as you are?" But how could I expect that from him when I wasnt giving it to me? ( Not his job. )

I would use my teeth as the reason I suspected I was rejected so many times, not just from guys. I would imagine it was the reason I didn't get what I wanted in life on every level. (Side note: no one can reject you except you.. carry on..)

When you feel unlovable you will find any reason to prove yourself right.

Whether it was my skin, my nose, my smile, my boobs, I assumed that every imperfect part of me made me defective and a reject to society.

I used to not want to point out these things to people about me... my "weaknesses" because then they'd have ammunition, something to use against me. Like I was so unworthy of being accepted with all my impurities. That if I shared what was wrong with me they'd realize I really was unworthy and stop loving me.

But the thing is, when you admit what you feel are your faults and you accept them about you, they no longer have power. And neither does anyone else, unless you give it to them.

However, I am not sharing these things because they are still an issue for me.

I share from an empowered and healed place. (So hold off on the DM's I do not need your assurance) and from a place of loving myself in all totality and feeling so free from the burden of believing that because of one thing God got wrong on me, I was unworthy of a good life. (Side note: God never gets anything wrong).

Its all BS. And its sad to think...So much time, experience and love was missed out on because of some thoughts in my head.

And it didnt matter how many people told me "you have a beautiful smile" , I'd think they were blind or crazy or drunk or anything but.. honesty and pure and true.

That is the thing about loving you, NO one can offer it to you. The world could put you on a pedestal and you would constantly dive off back to rock bottom until you realized that only YOU can accept and approve of you, which simultaneously feels like the hardest damm thing to do. But that's what makes it the most rewarding.

The gold here is figuring it out. Knowing those thoughts were never true and finally being free of all the downfalls of being "you".

Awhile ago I shared a post about loving yourself even when you're ugly.

From the moment I realized what I was doing I was on a quest to never hit that level of rock bottom again.

I chose the parts of me that I was really rejecting and I called them back in.. "come home to your body" I said.

I started spending way more time smiling at myself in the mirror, learning to accept and approve of me just as I am. "Nothing is wrong with me." (Thanks to one of my coaches, Evi.)

I spent way more time brushing and loving my teeth for all they do to help nourish me.

Recently I spent $5.99 on tooth floss just to prove my dedication to taking care of such a special part of me.

And the more time I spend taking care of the parts I one completely rejected the more I see them changing.

"I am determined to see differently" - a prayer from a course in miracles. A conviction that even if things don't change, how we choose to see them can change. It is as if my teeth are stronger and healthier and in better alignment than they have ever been.
(I'll tell you the story of the time my toenails didn't grow for 4 years and suddenly started again.. another day lol)

When you accept all the parts of you, even the parts you once decided were unlovable.. magical, amazing, wonderful things happen.

What unhealed, rejected parts of you are you giving away your power to?

How can you see yourself differently today?

What can you do to honour these perfectly God crafted parts of you?

You are perfect, whole and complete.
Allow yourself to see this and watch the miracles unfold.

Here is to calling home every single perfect part of you. You are, afterall, made from stars and ain't nobody complaining about the dimensions of the cosmos! ✨IMG_1862.JPG

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