Hi everyone, I hope you all are doing really great. I am so depressed right now, my head is aching and I am in the mood of writing . Time is really a weird thing you know. No matter whoever you are, one thing you must need to be afraid of you know, Time. Cause you don't know what is going to happen next. One of your most beautiful moment can turn into one of your biggest nightmare. Anyway, I am sorry I am going to depress you with my depressing post. Hope you don't mind.
You know I had a dream. I had this dream a long time ago. I saw a 5 story building, and I am sleeping in the middle floor and the whole building is packed up with stray cats, stray dogs, birds,cows, beggars and I am sleeping in the middle of the dogs, they are barking,fighting,playing, a total messed up situation and I am so satisfied, I was thinking this is what my life is. The dream lasted for a long time and it was really good. I always wanted to help the one in need. No matter what, I like helping.
Helping with money is mostly people want. You can help people in many way but helping with money is a different thing. It feels good and also the other person feels really happy. In my school life, I never had such type of opportunity to help others with money. I saw poor people, tried to understand their pain, prayed to god for them. And also in college life, I was earning something like less than $30 in Indian rupees the exact amount is - 1500 rs. I was earning by giving tuition. A little pocket money which I used to feed the stray dogs, two beggars who visited me daily in college. There was a food stall in the road, Debu Da's foot stall, and I opened an account in his stall, the amount I billed, I used to pay him at the end of the month and I told him give the uncle and aunt food every day, I'll pay. College went really well though. My activity in college was famous outside rather than inside. He he, good days though.
After the college, I started job. I used to take bus to the work. And in our place, beggars and scammers are everywhere. There are little kids everywhere asking money, asking food, old people also, well in India, it's common. We have a huge population so we have every type of people here. But while you are on a busy road, you can see a lot of people asking money. People also have different theories while giving the money. Some said don't give them, they are doing business. They need to do some real work. Some said to the little boy - why are you begging? Just go and study in school. People say a lot of things and I don't blame them. But I always gave, you know. I know the guy is a scammer, still I gave money. I am a person who purposely exposed money bag so the boy that following me can pick it. Can you Imagine? The life style those beggar chose, we educated people and also the people who can afford food,roof,electricity and all those basic things, we can never chose that type of life. When I see the kid, your moral support won't do anything to you. He knows the world very differently, he knows the world more than we all do. He knows what he is doing. I know if I give him 10 rupees, he is going to go to the next shop and buy a smoke. Still I gave them. Some blessed me, most of them scammed me( Or I intentionally got scammed).
Don't think that I am advertising myself please. I am in a situation in my life right now, there are actually a lot of questions which appearing in mind and I need the answers. That is exactly why I am writing, it's 4 am in the morning, I haven't slept yet. People used to say that - help others, so I did as much as I can. May be my help were so little but still I tried my best. But now I am in a situation I am not even earning a single dollar per day. I need money, but we learned from the world that you can give money only to poor people. But sometimes, the person standing right in front of you may also need some support, which we totally ignore. And even if you know his situation and ask them to take some money, they won't take it, I won't take it. Those with self respect never take moneys like that. But forget about it, the thing is most of the time we don't care. Even if we know that the other person needs help, we just stay quiet. We expect that he will resolve his problem because he can, because he used to be someone like us, pretty sure he has savings or he will figure it out some way.
At the end of the day, time wait for none. No matter how bad your situation is, you have to deal with it. I am in pretty bad condition now. But only positive thing is - This time will go away. I hope the dream I saw, I can make it true. Thank you so much for reading.