Infectious Energy

Hello fellow steemian, welcome to this week's discussion; sharing energy. Have you ever noticed when someone texts you and you know their voice, you read the text in their voice? This is one example of shared energy. Their energy was put into words and shared with you and if the energy is strong you'll be able to even put their voice and emotions to that text which could be true to their intended perception to be received, depending on how in tune you are with them or completely off if you're attachment to your self is stronger than the energy received. If this doesn't make sense, I have a simpler example of shared energy which requires using our senses to tune in to another person.

When you tune in to another person you are ready to receive their energy and once they tune in to you they will also receive yours. This is why some people get irritated being around numerous others and their energy because not all energy is easily ignored or in my case it use to feel like I was trying to tune out the world around me when placed in crowded areas, creating intense anxiety. I began to avoid crowds or unplanned trips anywhere. I still find it hard to go to the store without making sure it wasn't crawling with people. Too many cars equals me coming back at night. I love being courteous and kind and it's really hard to do when there's the majority trying to rush every single person out of their way or someone who is oblivious to the three shopping cart pile up behind them as they glance at something they're not even going to buy in the end. I am very careful who I share energy with because of where blind kindness lead me in the past. Staying grounded is not so easy when dealing with intense muscle memory. This is why practicing mindfulness is essential for me.

During my time in the military, I had to separate myself from who I was to become who I had to be. To deal with forced interactions and to always maintain a certain perception by fellow sailors. On my ship, I was either a slut, a bitch, or gay. That's how men saw women and how other women saw other women who they did not associate themselves with or know personally. After awhile I was constantly being aware of how others might perceive me as to not gain those labels. I wasn't really aware of this or maybe just not actively aware of this until an incident forced my awareness.

Before this incident, my general disposition was sunny. My goal, low key, was to make as many people smile in one day as humanly possible. Because military life got murky, so best get smirky. I shared my smile, the food I had or made, a friendly greeting or arm snatch(how I greeted friends as we passed each other in the passageways if I didn't have time for p-way pimpin. It ain't easy ya know) with any and everyone who shared a smile with me or needed good vibes. I noticed our yeoman(administrative assistant), was getting bullied by my fellow sailors in our divisional muster (when all three divisions came together to hear the plan of the day.) I took it upon myself to be as kind as possible to this dude because, damn, he seemed to have it pretty rough for no reason. I started smiling at him if he looked my way or asking him how he's doing after muster was over. I seemed to have made a friend. I was happy to share jokes with him and be that person that was kind no matter what. He was a pretty typical nerdy, slender outcast . One day I noticed he's been placed into waste management crew. He started working exactly where I always took the galley's trash because it's right across from my favorite smoke pit. It felt like the only break sailors got was to smoke. Anyways, I dropped off the galley's trash with a smile. And just before turning away, the unthinkable happened. He reaches over and grabs my ass in front of everyone. That ass grab was clearly visible from the smoke pit so I look behind me and see mouths agape. Everything felt slow motion after that. My knife hand comes out and I chew his ass out before quickly leaving down the nearby ladderwell. The scary part was he started chasing after me. He could have pushed me down the ladderwell for all I knew, if he's not capable of keeping his hands to himself in a professional setting... I made it to my Senior Chief's office. To this day he's still my all time favorite senior chief even though he's retired now.

As I was in the middle of stumbling through words to describe what the fuck just happened, this asshole barged in and immediately exclaimed "I didn't do anything!" I felt like my face was on fire as I rushed to him literally chopping at him with my knife hand, yelling, as my nose touched his, "say that to my fucking face I dare you, asshole! I'll fuck you up right here right now! Tell the truth!" My senior Chief pops up and diffused the situation letting me know he'll handle it. The yeoman eventually confessed and tears just well up and rolled down my cheeks as I realized the gravity of the situation. Once I felt their eyes on me I calmly left to a place that felt like home, the vegetable prep room. There, one of my close friends was working and I just start balling my eyes out to him. Once I realized I couldn't really explain what happened coherently, I left there too. I was stuck in this metal town with nowhere to go to be alone besides a stinky bathroom stall. This is starting to feel like a cautionary tale about being careful who you share energy with. Maybe it is.

As this was happening, I had one arm in a cast. I think it was good that I didn't have access to my south paw. I think things would have ended very differently. Luckily I had already broken it across someone else's face and was sent to the brig where I was alone in my thoughts to process the events that took place. Thankfully, the security Master Chief came down to discuss what his punishment will be. At first, I said nothing. I wanted nothing from him but distance. They kicked him out/transferred him off the ship in handcuffs and the security master chief made it as embarrassing as possible for him.

Be aware of your energy and how easily you can transfer that energy. Once transferred, you have no idea what that other person will inactively perceive with it until they show you with their actions. I do my best to continue sharing positive energy as much as possible anyways. It's just in my nature. And even if I crossed paths with this man again, smile I shall. 🌸