At a bar-
Chandler: Settles next to Sherlock
Sherlock: Looks at Chandler up and down before ignoring him
Chandler: Hi. I’m Chandler.
Sherlock: I don’t care.
Chandler: Really? Well you know there aren’t many men around. For a bar, this place is surprisingly filled with women.
Sherlock: I’m not gay. Sorry.
Chandler: What? Even I’m not… Oh for the love of god. I am not gay, okay.
Sherlock: Studies Chandler up and down Oh! I see. You’re not.
Chandler: You see?
Sherlock: Nods slowly before ordering another drink
Chandler: You saw? You see you saw that I’m not gay?
Sherlock: Yes.
Chandler: Scratches his nose How?
Sherlock: Just like how I know that you’re a IT Procurements Manager, specialising in data reconfiguration and statistical analysis. You’re having a secret affair with one of your very close friends, who is meticulous and obsessed about order if one carefully studies the patterns up your sleeves. You can’t start a day without coffee, have successfully left cigarette addiction but are inclined to sniffing in the occasional puffs of smoke while you take a morning… no, evening walk around the city. Not a bad idea I must add.
Chandler: Wh…?
Sherlock: Oh! And you skipped your lunch for the day and instead had to satisfy your hunger with just a sandwich, which was a very bad decision in the retrospect since you didn’t even finish it. It has been about 15… or 17 days since you got a haircut, and people indeed assume that you’re gay, since not many men are very particular about their manicure-pedicure appointments. Which, by the way, you have tomorrow.
Chandler:
Sherlock:
Chandler:
Sherlock:
Chandler: Takes in a deep breath
Sherlock:
Chandler: So you are a mind reader?
Sherlock: No
Chandler: Then? A fortune teller?
Sherlock: No
Chandler: Futurist?
Sherlock: Nope.
Chandler: Wizard?
Sherlock: Wiz… No. None of the above. I am a detective.
Chandler: A detective?
Sherlock: A Consulting Detective. The only one in the world. I invented the job.
Chandler: Aanand You took away the award for world’s worst job title. Anyway, so what do you do? You read people?
Sherlock: In a way.
Chandler: In a way?
Sherlock: Yes. You sound surprised.
Chandler: Nah! I’m just curious. Okay, so Mr. Detective…
Sherlock: Consulting…
Chandler: Right. You see that woman? Blonde, glittery crop top. What can you tell me about her?
Sherlock: Engaged. Two dogs. One Labrador and a Golden Retriever. Corporate job. Lots of sitting. Less eye contact, and if you see the body language, it’s clear that she’s an introvert, really really shy.
Chandler: You’re just making that up.
Sherlock: Ask her if you want?
Chandler: Like I had the guts!
Sherlock: Clearly lacking.
Chandler: Only god understands how freaks like you are even born.
A rather attractive woman takes the chair next to Chandler.
Chandler: Woah! Turns back to Sherlock with anticipation in his eyes
Sherlock: Narrows his eyes and gives a discouraging expression
Chandler: Oh come on. What’s wrong with this one? Her feets are twisted? She’s secretly balding? She spits venom when she opens her mouth? She’s secretly a psychotic serial killer?
Sherlock: Nope.
Chandler: Then?
Sherlock: Lesbian. Sherlock finishes his drink and smashes his empty glass on the counter, before passing a ridiculous smile at Chandler and walking off
Chandler: He’s just messing with me. He’s lying. *Turns around to face the gorgeous woman sitting beside him.
Chandler: Hi.
Gorgeous woman: I have a girlfriend.
.
.
.
Chandler: OH! MY! GAWD!
Nice post
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You missed chandlers sarcasm
But nice post
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