It's a sad situation and kudos to you for being willing to work on your relationship even after such a devastating betrayal.

As to what you can do to "make" him have an interest in salvaging your marriage, as you know you cannot make another person do something they truly don't want to.

Rather than whining, clinging, moping, digging for answers and hanging onto him for dear life... Let go, step back... BREATHE... Then go out and fill yourself up with some of the things that delight your soul or that help you overcome those insecurities... Take classes, go to the gym, buy a new dress, connect with old friends... Whatever it is that brings light into your heart and a smile on your face!! When is the last time you did something just for you?

Determine not to hound him with any kind of communication... Let him come to YOU and when he does let him discover a woman who is living a happy, joyous life without him!

That will be much more attractive to him... And give him reason to want to work on the marriage (if there is any hope left)... Much more than the desperate clinger you sound like today.

Please forgive the blast of honesty... But it comes from a place of hope for only the best for your future. You deserve the best of yourself and of him... If you are going to allow him to remain in your life!

Best of success to you!!