"I refuse to love"

in life •  8 years ago 

Source

This is the third entry in a series, where we publish   personal stories from people our writers have reached out to in person  (having obtained their consent beforehand, and preserving their  privacy). We have renamed the woman Anne . We have also transcribed a  recording of a conversation between one of our writers Anne (having  deleted the recording afterwards, as she demanded). 
TDS = The Daily Steem


Anne:

During high school I had a boyfriend, Darren [name changed]. He was a gentle guy, and I trusted him enough to lose my virginity to him. (smiles) Perhaps it's an uncommon thing to hear, but I have a fond memory of that moment...

I'm pretty sure Darren loved me. He would wait until I'd finished class to drive me home. It seemed he would just call me whenever a thought passed through his head.  He'd always call me. 

TDS: Did it ever bother you?

Anne: Honestly? No.

I didn't love him.  He was popular and admired by everyone at school.

I wanted that. I wanted to know what it felt like to be the subject of daily conversation. To have people fawning over me, trying to earn my attention. 

I know. You'll probably think I was a vain, immature girl. And selfish. 

TDS: How did it end?

Anne: High school ended and his status no longer mattered. 

I would be lying if I said I cared. I never loved him to begin with. 

Back then, I would find it difficult to open up to people. Like, genuinely. On a heart-to-heart level. Opening up made me feel vulnerable. Exposed to the cruelty of human whim. 

I didn't want that. So I wanted to protect myself, and Darren offered me...hmm...social protection.

TDS: Has that sentiment changed now? Do you find it easier to open up?

Anne: Ha-ha. Not at all. (smiles)

I've dodged three marriage proposals and haven't stayed with someone for longer than a year - well, since High School. 

One man, Frank [name changed]. Invited me over to his family's home. I pretended to enjoy my stay. I laughed and joked. But inside I felt this crippling emotion. It really pained me. It was this feeling of being at anyone's mercy. I just wanted to curl up in the fetal position in some dark corner and cry. 

I didn't ever want to feel like that again. So, I dumped him a few days after. Never talked to him again.

I still refuse to open myself up. To make myself vulnerable. 

Love sort of requires that you open up - right?

So I guess, I refuse to love.


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