Are you really “too busy”?

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)

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We humans, often spend a significant amount of time on things that really don’t matter. We have a hard time seeing things for what they really are. We find a little something to grasp onto and then turn it into a big ordeal and sometimes falling short on the good stuff.

We give it our energy, attention and our precious time. We analyze it and consume our selves with worry. Some things can become our whole world at times, blinding us of what truly matters.

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Society is “busy,” even though we are living in a time where everything is more convenient than it’s ever been. Information is easy to attain and tools and resources are plentiful. What are we so busy doing?

A couple years ago, I found myself asking that very question, After I had reached a point of burn out. Why am I so busy? I felt stretched in every direction and just simply “busy.” I explored how I was spending my time and it confirmed, yup, I had a full plate, but a full plate of what?

When I looked at these things, many of them were typical things like being a mom and taking care of a household, I was also running a business and helping my husband run his. There was no denying I had a lot of shit to do.

I was curious if there was a way to eliminate some things, somehow, someway. As I looked at what I could potentially take off my plate, I found very few things. Even though everything we do is a choice, a lot of these things I had committed myself to and I thought I wanted to do at the time.

When I looked closer, I could see these things for what they were, without thoughts attached….just a simple schedule. It was do-able. I was doing it on a daily basis and I even figured as much as I had on my plate, there was still free time. I started thinking, “this isn’t so bad, why do I feel so rushed and busy?”

I realized it wasn’t the actual things I spend my time doing, it was the momentum of thoughts that would begin each day around the things I needed to do. I wasn’t busy, my mind was busy. My mind felt rushed, and even when I was able to squeeze in free time, my thoughts would still consume me.

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The “busy” can be an illusion. It can look and feel like overwhelm and that’s exactly what I was experiencing. An already anxious person with a perfectionist type personality and when it came to a lot of my tasks, it caused massive, mind consuming worry and eventually burn out.

I believe a lot of society is experiencing the same thing. That its a feeling of busy vs actually being too busy.

I think we want to stay busy in a healthy way, just like when I looked at what I was spending my time doing, I didn’t want to eliminate much. I wanted to spend time doing those things, but I wanted to find a way to do them but without the mind chatter and worry.

I also realized how quickly I would get side tracked and allow my mind to get caught up in little obstacles. At the end of each day, in hindsight, I would spend a significant amount of time in the unforeseen things that would pop up daily vs staying with my initial intentions. (Another great topic for another day, the power of saying “no”.)

It’s common for us to use our free time on things that can take us out of the mind wrenching experience, like watching tv, for example. It has a numbing effect, pausing the mind for a little break before we go right back at it.

I’m an introverted person, and I prefer laser focus. When I am into something, I’m all in. Life these days, demands a lot of multi-tasking, and I learned, it just isn’t for me. I am much better off giving something my all and then moving on to the next thing and giving it my all. But that’s way easier said, than done, right?

I still have not mastered this, but I’m always working towards it. It’s been like a “side project” -mastering the art of time management. Even the awareness around how we are spending our time and getting real with ourselves with what really matters, is a step in the right direction.

As time went on, through holding this concept in my awareness, I discovered something else, the seeking of fulfillment. Striving for it, really. “If I can just perfect this one thing over here.” “If I can just get this, I’ll have that.” The overbearing thoughts and worry were desperation for fulfilment -seeking.

Once I realized this, I starting seeking in a different way. I started intentionally seeking. I knew that, even if I could quiet my mind some, have healthier thoughts and complete my to-do list each and everyday, something was still missing. There was still a void that needed to be filled.
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When we listen and when we realize there’s always growth among the contrast in life (such as feeling too busy,) there’s a message in there, a cry for something, a longing for something new to be discovered and born. What is trying to emerge?

It may be the desire to spend more time and focus on something you’re already doing or something brand new. We can choose to stay in the hustle or we can re-centre, quiet the mind and listen enough to transform that struggle into fulfillment.

Give yourself full permission to break free from “busy” and delegate your time and energy in a way that contributes to a more meaningful life journey.

I believe, the feeling of “too busy” means we are off course to what our soul is longing for -out of alignment.

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I love this. You could have written this for me. I run a business, I want to be a "present" father, I am building an essential oils business, I have vounteered to be an event director for parkrun building a local event from the ground up, and committed to running a marathon in a few months time..... Sounds like a lot, but in any given moment I can really only do 1 thing. Create a schedule & calm the f*&^ down.... There's still plenty of time for social media & netflix.... so I can't be completely overwhelmed! When I practice being present, and content (that's something I've been working on llately), it all seems to come together. And yeah, sometimes I'm not as good as I could be in terms of communication with people, but that's ok... It's something I'm prepared to be a little slack at to make sure I hit my priority tasks.

Good post, as always @tressareid

It sounds like you've got lots going on and are keeping busy. Busy is good as long as it's making you feel the way you want to feel at the end of the day. Even some levels of overwhelm are a good thing, as long as we can hone back in and always be aware of what exactly is consuming out time and energy.

I wish you success in theses big things you've got going on, self awareness is where it's at. :)

Good content and very true.
You need to stop sometimes, sit down, relax, take a deep breath and don´t give a f*ck.
But it´s not that easy.

upvoted&resteemed

So true . Sometimes we just need to learn to manage our time better.

yes. thank you for shareing your opinion. though i am busy in study and work. but i still give time to my family, friends.. so i am always happy

Everybody be claiming they’re busy and are less aware of the bareness of a busy life

let's visit each other's blog @ zuhrafriska

What we all really need to do is calm down and put things in perspective. I am glad to find someone writing about this because most people still see being "busy" as part of the solution rather than part of the problem. For most of us it is somewhat of a combination of approaches and tactics that will set us free. I for one, found some of the tactics suggested in the infamous "4 Hour Work Week" book/movement to be helpful in just clearing some of the clutter out of my day. The other thing we all need to do is problem solve better by opening out minds to finding the best solution (sometimes by abandoning the prevailing sentiments of the masses). It is discouraging to see people waste years trying to solve a problem in an unworkable way but also hopeful to see that a new outlook can lead to relatively easy and more effective solutions to the things that bog us down!

Yes. I loved the "4 Hour Work Week". A lot of value in the book to apply overtime. I think being "busy" is the problem and we stay in the problem, because many don't believe there is an alternative. I think it goes hand in hand with the concept of work/life balance being a myth. Trying to achieve balance has been really challenging for me personally over the years, and I really don't think it's possible, I think its a particular mindset we need to develop and create more integration rather than separation. Which I plan to write about in the near future.

Thanks for adding to this topic.

I was just having this conversation the other day! I believe your spot on. Were not too busy, just off course!

Thank for sharing

I think the problem is that once you have been busy for a long time, it becomes ever harder to stop and be in the moment.. especially if you have some emotional challenges,, which we all do! SO maybe the real question is whether people actually even want or can handle being less busy!

great post and thought provoking question!

I totally agree with that. For many, that have been use to being busy, not being busy is uncomfortable and feels foreign. Thanks for your comment and contribution to the topic :)

Thank you for this great post - I see myself in so much of what you write: "busy" to the point of burned out, introvert and laser-focus, lacking in fulfillment. Sometimes I feel so alone in my worries, but I see from your post this is not the case. I like how you have sat own and analyzed what you actually spend our time doing, and where you can do cuts. Food for thought. :) By the way - I think I am your follower no 500 - congratulations! Time to celebrate. :)

I'm so glad you can resonate, you're certainly not alone, and the simple awareness of where we put our time and energy is where we can identify where the adjustments can be made. I've spent a lot of time analyzing what lights me up and what doesn't, (most draining) to try to add in more things that make me feel the way I want to feel to start addressing the lack of fulfillment aspect.

As far as being introverted and preferring laser focus, that's really about giving ourselves permission to operate from that level, without the guilt of "doing it like everyone else" (all those multi-tasking extroverts...lol)

Thank you so much for being my 500th follower!!... (I just followed you back) I've only been here about 2 months and reaching that is defiantly a big milestone for me! I love this platform and the people here.

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