The One I Call Hero

      Many years ago there was a small boy growing up in Connecticut. He was a tiny thing with a strong will and a longing for something he couldn’t make out in his head. Most of his days were filled with adventures he would play out alone in his room or simply sitting quietly somewhere letting his mind race him away to anywhere but the here and now. He felt the odd one out most of the time. In a group of three he was the third wheel and he always seemed to be the last one asked to do things. School was no different. He was always picked last for all the sports and his teachers told him he was a C student at best. His family life was not exactly the way he dreamt it either. His father had not enough time in a day to spend quality time with him so on occasion he would bring in a new glove: a gift of some kind to make up for the time not spent.      As a teenager he entered into the Navy. The Navy took him to the places he dreamt of in his head as a young boy. Still somehow he felt alone. The many wondrous sights amazed him; yet he still felt the emptiness creep in, the longing for something unknown. He always felt alone, even in a crowd of people. Drinking made him feel somewhat less empty. He remembered going out with his friends and drinking and laughing and not feeling so left out as a teen. Once again the drink began to comfort him. Soon it took more and more of the drink to be a comfort. It seemed as if life was getting emptier and harder and if so, he wondered would he be   able to conquer this demon of loneliness with a stronger drink. He was filling a void.      Soon filling the void was out of control and began to destroy him. He would be miserable and drink to find comfort: then become miserable from the drink. His world as he knew it went spiraling out of control. He found himself in a retreat and forced to function without the drink in his hand. He didn’t think he would live some days, couldn’t understand how he did live through others. He was forced in this place to realize the simple things in life; it was as if he was being reborn. This place taught him to believe in the person he truly was, the person he had always been.     He soon found a new courage within himself. He felt a hunger for knowledge and accomplishment. Working two jobs he went to college and received his degrees. Now would be the time for him to return home. A new man, a stronger man, a God fearing man returned to Connecticut. New trials waited for him as he returned to his childhood home.     He found his father terminally ill; leaving his special needs sister with no one to care for her. This man, made the first of many hard choices to come. He cared for his father and sister until they passed to a world without the pain and confusion. He had found his life and was able to care for them without a thought for himself. While caring for his father he found his way back into the church. The Bible comforted him. He had accomplished so many things, still after all this time his world slowed down and he felt a tingle of emptiness slipping back into his life.     This time of his life he had become a very successful photographer. He had found compassion within himself instead of pity. He had found the joy of giving of himself to others. He was not aware that from the very beginning he was being designed by the mighty hand of God. He has been taught patience, compassion, tenderness, selflessness and most of all how to love unconditionally.     I was truly blessed to have met this man, then to fall in love with him. The most magical moment of my life was when I became his wife. This man did not know as he took his journey from a child to a man that God was preparing him for a love above all others. He has taught me so much in the past year about love and acceptance. He has taught me to hold my head up and keep going forward even when the day seems to long to last through. He somehow has given me the courage he seemed to live without for so long. I thank God each day for molding this precious man just for me. The funny thing to me is, he still does not know how wonderful he truly is. Phil Noel is his name. Did I mention he graduated college as an honor student? I know what a role model is, I know what a hero is, it is Phil Noel, my husband.