#SHOTSTORY- I DO NOT KNOW IF I WANT TO BE GAY

Anonymous:

This is as simple as that I always had an inclination for the opposite sex, but also for the same. Naturally, I am a man; God gave me the gift of being one but at this point I think that if I were a woman I would also be a lesbian.

All this goes back to about twelve years ago, in elementary school, I liked my best friend (Something typical in elementary school) I really liked that girl, I moved the floor and if I was never able to tell her. By the time we got to high school, in a drunken binge (6 years later) I told him so, and what happened? It turns out that the very asshole told me that she felt the same for me back then, that is, we liked in primary school in the same way but neither of us dared to say it.

In the same way we were children. After we said it, we did not try it because she had a boyfriend and I started attracting a boy from our class (Nobody knew, not even her). Well for some inexplicable reason I decided to forget about that boy at the time a new student came to our class, she was really beautiful and sexy, she was redhead with her hair up to her back, light eyes ... well, uh, I was behind that girl as because Two years? Something like that, I came to believe that she knew my secret and that's why she did not listen to me.

For the first year of high school both my best friend and this girl went far, if away, not that they moved from city to country; One went to the United States and the other to Germany. I felt in limbo (literally) it was like an emotional imbalance I did not know how to control, since then I did not like any other girl in existence, but for the first time I fell madly in love with a boy and had no idea how I felt at the time. respect.

Telling my parents was perhaps the most difficult thing I did in my life, because they probably think I'm creating a mental game for them. I hope they forgive me, because I do not understand it myself.

A few days ago my best friend came back to visit, we were talking about everything that had happened in those 12 years together and the issue came out.

-My mom hates Manuel.

The communication was never cut, a couple of months ago I told him my "sexual orientation" the funny thing is that he told me he knew it since elementary school.

-What? Do you already know him?
-Leido messages and aha. I did not want it to happen in the worst way.
-What? I shouted.
-It was horrible, I had never seen her so hysterical. - He huffed

• So your family finally knows that you ...
  -Yep
  -But how was it? Did you sit and talk to her slowly so she would not get upset?
  -It did it.
  -What did he say?
• That she does not want a gay son. He can not believe that being so attractive has left him fag.
• Did he really say that?
  -He said he failed as a mother ...
  -Well, if she's right, she failed as a mother.
• Are not you supposed to support me?
  -I say she failed as a mother, because she never gave you the confidence to tell her, she never gave you enough attention to suspect it ... and that makes a mother.
  -It is true.
  -What else did he tell you?
  -What should I look for a girlfriend, not a boyfriend? It bothered me too much, you know? I said "I do not like women and you already know"
  -I mean, do you expect you to change?
• Then he asked me about Manuel. I told him that he really liked me because I still did not know how to deal with it; He said that being gay is not going to take me anywhere, that I will fail and I will sink faster than I think.