When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion, kind, unassuming persuasion, should ever be adopted. It is an old and true maxim, that a “drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.” So with men. If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great high road to his reason, and which, once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing his judgment of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause really be a just one.
… On the contrary, assume to dictate to his judgment, or to command his action, or to mark him as one to be despised, and he will retreat within himself, close all the avenues to his head and heart; and tho’ your cause be naked truth itself, transformed to the heaviest lance, harder than steel, and sharper than steel can be made, and tho’ you throw it with more than Herculean force and precision, you shall no more be able to pierce him, than to penetrate the hard shell of a tortoise with a rye straw.” — Lincoln: The Biography of a Writer
When communicating: hit the heart first, then work up to the head.
Too many people think communication is about having the best facts, the right argument. No.
Heart, then head.
Remember: Once upon a time, you didn’t know what you know now, either. You were in their shoes once. Meet them at their current narrative, make nice, and guide the way up.
Speaking of hearts and heads — has a logical argument ever gotten you laid?
Love this post. And the topic. I'm a big fan of that idea for people who seem stuck in their lives, not knowing what to do, either for their job or their passion or both, that says think back to the things you did as a kid that you enjoyed. The things you did purely for the love. Then do that. It's such basic but such sage advice. You did those things because you wanted to and with no impediments where the thoughts of money or respectability or seriousness or being an adult with responsibility came into it. I did three things, consistently, I wrote, I read and I drew/painted/created things. That's what I'm trying to get back to. And I think I usually go with my heart, which I also think is linked to my gut, first, but you must remember to check in with your head as well.
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