Holiday advice from @littlescribe. If you have any questions about how to handle the holidays this year, post them below! I'll be sure to respond!

HOLIDAY HACKS

As our beloved holidays come and go, one thing a lot of people complain about each year is the inevitable family drama.

Most people think a good holiday hack involves saving money on gift shopping or learning how to avoid the crowds. But the BEST holiday hacks are actually found around the dinner table. If you can figure out how to survive a get-together with drastically different personality types, who ALSO know exactly how to push all your childhood buttons, I’d say you were on the right track. I might even go so far as to say you can pretty much handle anything.

So, without further ado, here are a few quick hacks to your holiday dinner. I’ll be handling 6 items over the next week, so be sure to follow!

1. How to answer uncomfortable questions
2. How to stave off fighting at the dinner table
3. How to manage passive-aggressive family members
4. How to "eat" food you don't like
5. How to endure long-winded conversation
6. How to avoid the inevitable "guilt-load"

HOW TO ANSWER UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS

Uncomfortable questions are the result of two possible scenarios: a tactless person, or an overly sensitive you. Either way, the solution is the same: Deflect, and follow up with a question about THEM. And if that question happens to be a little nosy and inappropriate, then so be it. I’m not going to stop you.

Let’s say you’re 35 and single. And let's say this somehow makes you the subject of discussion in your family. Maybe you LIKE being single. Maybe you hate it, but you haven't found the right one yet. Maybe you have found someone, but you're not ready to introduce them to the family yet. Whatever the reason, it's nobody's damn business and should not be the subject of the dinner table unless YOU bring it up.

To be fair, some people are genuinely well-meaning in their nosy questions and actually do care how you are doing and hope for the best. They might say something like this:

“Darren, you’re not getting any younger! When are we going to get you married off!”

Your response is simple: “Oh, you don’t want to talk about boring old me. But Aunt Jo, why don’t you tell me about your azaleas. I hear they are the prize patch this year.”

Other relatives, however, can be perfectly vicious and out of line when prying into your personal life. They might ask questions that are uncalled for and are designed to humiliate you and everyone else.

They might say, “Darren, you’re not getting any younger! When are we going to get you married off! Some of us are starting to wonder if you’re gay, and that just won’t do! You know your grandfather would turn in his grave!”

Your response could be the same as above. I always recommend treating others with kindness by default. Just because someone else is cancerous doesn’t mean you have to be.

HOWEVER, if you are feeling spry, or if you can't seem to shake them loose, you can retort with a question that makes THEM uncomfortable every time. You don’t need to be mean-spirited. That's just mean, and it is not the goal here. Nor is it actually necessary. All you have to do is just make things a little uncomfortable under the collar. And you'll be amazed how quickly they leave you alone. For example:

“Oh, you don’t want to talk about boring old me. But what about you? How is your weight-loss program going. I hear you lost 2 whole pounds last month. Everyone is talking about how you’re going to have to get a whole new wardrobe. Have you decided who to take on your shopping spree?”

Everyone (including Aunt Jo) knows Aunt Jo is never going to lose that weight. And also, talking about a woman's weight is way out of line unless you're bosom buddies. It will be inappropriate of you. But, she will think twice before going out of her way to put attention on you again, because it’s going to swing back onto her. And the fact is, she doesn't want that. That's why she picks on everyone else.

Let's be clear. This IS completely passive aggressive. And I would ONLY recommend this is as a last resort, to set your own boundaries. Psychologically speaking, setting boundaries in a passive-aggressive way is, well, not super healthy. But it can be super effective if you're dealing with people who do not speak "healthy."

If this is too bold, find a question that is less outrageous, but still uncomfortable. The trick is to come PREPARED with a quiver of questions you could pose at a moment's notice if need be. That way you won't have to think on your feet or get caught off guard. You'll just know you'll be OK and you can manage yourself if the time comes. Because in your family, you know that time will come.

But it needn't be your goal, or you'll miss the point of the whole night. If you are going out of your way to try and make someone feel uncomfortable, no matter WHO they are, YOU will be no better than they are. You have to remember that people who go out of their way to make others feel uncomfortable are the ones who have the most in their own lives to feel uncomfortable about. They don’t like something about themselves. And they don’t want to think about it or have attention on it. So they’ve got to make everyone else uncomfortable so they can have something else to focus on besides their own misery. Try to be grateful you are not horribly miserable like they are, and cut them a little slack, if you can muster it.

If you're finding that you must behave badly in order to survive family events, perhaps it might be time to ask whether these family events are truly worth attending, if they compromise your own personal integrity and feeling of happiness. If you've got someone who won't leave you alone, well, this is called bullying. Plain and simple. And I don't care how closely your DNA matches up. A bully is a bully. Go find people to hang around who value and appreciate you. End of story.

images from pixabay.com

Stay tuned for tomorrow's advice: How to stave off fighting at the dinner table

And for today's quick Holiday meal tip, learn how to spatchcock your turkey this year!

It is SO easy, and everyone will think you're an amazing chef, even if you're not. I do this every time I cook a turkey. It leaves the bird tasting juicy and delicious, and in a THIRD of the time it takes to cook the ordinary way. You'll never go back. I'm not even joking. Here's my post on this recipe if you want to try it this year.

BE SURE AND UPVOTE, RESTEEM, AND FOLLOW!