Lost in translation in South Dakota

In 1962 my family (4 sisters and parents) immigrated from The Netherlands to the United States. My parents spoke very little English and my sisters and I did not speak a word of “English”. Our sponsor lived in a farm town called “Kadoka” located in the state of South Dakota. Kadoka was to be our home for the next four years.

The first year was extremely difficult for all of us. Trying to cope with the severely cold winters, the language barrier and the hamburgers and hot dogs were not familiar to us. Milking cows and feeding the pigs were all new to us and something we were not at all used to. We were “city folks” and we were not at all prepared for “farm life”.  

One day our sponsor, Ted, asked my father (Peter) to feed the cows grazing in the east pasture as they have not been fed for a few days. My father drove over to what he thought was the “east pasture” and dropped several stacks of hay for the very hungry cows. When he returned Ted asked my father whether or not he fed the cows in the “east pasture”. My father said, yes, they were extremely hungry and finished 10 bales of hay in no time.  Ted asked my father how many cows were there. My father responded about 300. Three-hundred yelled Ted…no- no- no, there should have only been about 50! Where exactly did you go? My father explained exactly where he went and Ted responded that my father fed the cows in the “west pasture” that belonged to his neighbor!  No wonder the 10 bales of hay were gorged in no time as his neighbor never feeds his cows!

One Sunday morning, my mother Phina (being a woman of fashion) put on her “spiffy” clothes, brand new high heel shoes, fresh makeup; hair washed and cleaned to get ready to go to Church. Ted asked my mother if she could feed the pigs that were in the backyard. Since she did not understand English that well she understood Ted to say “feed the pigs that were in the barn”. She was not aware of the fact that there were pigs in the backyard.  Phina responded, certainly, and grabbed the bucket of spoiled food, and headed towards the barn.  The pigs saw my mother coming and started rushing towards her. It frightened her and she started running the opposite direction. She could not run fast enough! The mud and sludge on the ground made her slip and fall. The pigs were so hungry that they trampled all over her grabbing the buckets from all different directions. When my mother stood up; her “spiffy clothes” was filthy, smelled of spoiled food, her high heels became “flats”, her hair and face was full of mud and sludge and only her “eyeballs” was visible! She looked like something from a horror movie! Needless to say the pigs enjoyed their meal.

On another occasion my mother went to a furniture store and asked the salesman whether they carried “rotten” chairs. The salesman responded madam we do not carry rotten chairs! My mother responded, yes, you do I saw one over there! The salesman asked my Mother to take him there. She pointed out to a piece of furniture that she liked. The man responded “ohhhh” you mean “rattan chair”!