Yesterday was a rough day ( again). I had some time to reflect on the recent months. I deleted all my text messages from the man I love. I deleted all the pictures. I deleted my Facebook account. The only things left was my skype. So today I went onto my Skype account and read all the messages we typed to each other.
I just don’t get it. If anything we said to each other was real, then how could this happen? How could we never speak again? How could all that caring for one another end ?
I realized that although I love him, I have to let him go. It’s so hard for me , but seems so simple for him. Why? Why does he get the easy way out of this ? Why does he get to walk away so easily? While this is so difficult for me?
Well, the last of my memories of him have been deleted . I deleted all those messages bc I couldn’t continue to torture myself by reading them over and over again. Trying to figure out where I went wrong. Trying to figure out what I did . I give up.
But the fact that he is ok with me giving up. That this is what he wants . That he hasn’t returned a text message. Means to me that maybe I never really mattered after all. Maybe it wasn’t what I thought it was. Maybe he never really cared after all.
But for me it mattered. I cared. I care with all my heart. But that doesn’t matter anymore. Unfortunately this chapter of my life is done and it’s time for me to move on.
It hurts and I love him. I’ll always love him, and as angry as I am , I just wish he would reach out. I just wish I knew he really cares. I wish I knew this whole relationship was real for him. I wish I knew this meant something to him.
Steepshot
nice share
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@lynncoyle1 very true! Someone once said to me it’s 20% what happens to you and 80% how you react to it. So, until now, I’ve been focusing on the 20. I guess it’s time to turn that around and make the most of what comes my way.
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Here's what I've learned in life...for whatever it's worth.
I cannot control what others think, say or feel. The only thing I can control, is how I choose to respond to them.
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@thaha1 thank you
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