Who am I to write about Love? There is nothing special about me; searching for the deep soul like anyone and everyone. Like any women we are among more then the men that surround us. Good for them for having so many choices bad for us to search a needle in a haystack.
At one point in our life, for some reason we women, still have hope the single one but we are very strong on what we are looking for.
There is like men and women, good and bad everywhere. Different agenda for some people which is not real and pure neither honest! Which make harder for the ones who are the most vulnerable because we can’t let our guard down.
Adding to this beautiful life, our age is growing and by the time that passed some of us feels it’s too late. We accept the faith and even though we are very strong, independent and happy something inside of us we hope one day we get strike with the right one. The right hug, the right kiss, the right personality.
Forget about these dating online. Been there done that! Many of us can relate how many fake accounts we can come across, problems on payment and refunds. Players, cheater and scammers all around and that are from both sides. I must say – there is success in some, which is amazing. There is success in every social media no matter where you look. There is success in cafe, grocery or meeting between friends of friends, traveling, reality show and or any events. If you are desperate you won’t find the right connection. Let it go – let it happen and live your life first for the things you want. Be happy!
There are so many articles and advice through social from what to do and not do. Guidance, books, coach and blogs, reality show in so many way but at the end of the day it’s come to this; be yourself, honest; don’t play the mind game and if you really want to put yourself out there do it the right way not the sensual way which will bring you only the wrong men or women.
Who did not received a weird message or picture on facebook! A link we don’t want to click because he or she is a hacker, a fake profile. Seriously – people! These people go to a great link trying to catch your interest. Don’t do it – not worth it. I block so many that I can’t count my block list, which thanks to social media to allowed the block. Choose your friends wisely. It’s good to make new connections but be serious of what kink of the connection you want to let entered into your world.
Just like a dating site; profile is important from picture to description of what you do. Employers now today will go through social media. Employers now these days want to know above and beyond your personality, which is good. I don’t have anything to hide. Lots of them might be self-employed which is great for them but regardless; be honest. What you see is what you get from me anyway. Kind, genuine, honest and deep down hurt. Yes I did cut my hair but my picture from my social profile is 4 years old. However even though I cut my hair for this summer once it growth my look is about the same. Some people age faster then other and it’s seemed I don’t which is a great benefit for me I guess. Like I said earlier, don’t used Facebook to catch a fish.
The industry of the pornography, escort and women showing themselves exploded. Am I agreeing with this no! Do they make money yes but at the end of the day – they are still alone and trouble is and will be always on the horizon. Let’s put it that way. Everyone is aging and no matter what, this world has changed for the worse. I say to these women – be careful and be safe.
Why do you think the rating from those reality show is so high from 90 days fiancé, Marriage at first sight, Bachelor, bachelorette or even the love island, dating a millionaire People do want to find the right connection, the right love. Far from putting myself into one of these show not knowing but happy for them to discover and going above and beyond what could happen. It is crazy but it works in some case. Be realistic in you choice, in your action. Be upfront and honest whether you are part of a cast or not.
We all did the thing we shouldn’t do. We all break the rules that we shouldn’t have done through the dating way. If you didn’t; good for you; but dating is taking a leap of faith, a risk and not knowing what could happen. If you play safe is good but too safe might not get you the real one. But used your judgement, text a girlfriend of your location, and your date and follow your instinct is the most crucial. No matter what, this will help you, guide you but at the end of the day don’t have any regret.
Be polite and kind – there is no need to hurt someone else. There is no need to judge but in every situation be respectful. Don’t play the mind game and be true full in everything you do. I always say men or women can fish but that doesn’t mean they got the catch! Don’t be a player, a liar eventually the true will come out and that will hurt you more then ever.
Today dating is not like it was in the past. If you are worry take some step to protect you which mean you can use any app to text message but one I like the most when I am texting out of messenger is the app called Hushed. Hushed (https://hushed.com/)
Is like a second line you can have on your phone. You download the app and you pay a little fee to protect your privacy, which I am sure lots of scammer is already through this. No wonder sometimes when we get a call and it’s from our own province. However, I did used it 3 years ago when I was under those stupid dating site which I didn’t want to give my personal number. I am not anymore but that it’s because I trust my criteria and I am very confident through my selection if this happen. I will however keep this in the back of my mind. It is a great app and very secure for you.
I am saying this because I hope I can protect younger ladies from the things I have learned in the past and hopefully this will guide you to be more confident and secure through your choice. There are also other apps but I didn’t really like it or felt safe at the time, which is why I stick to, hushed.
I make my own destiny and I don’t need a man to pay for me. I’ll take care of myself, as I am very independent. I am not saying no to his kindness but I won’t expect him to pay automatically. I am stubborn in a good way. We all need that hug; that kiss, that kindness but you have to be careful when you let your guards down. Follow your instinct.
As men age as well; they want to keep the fire by looking for younger women but unfortunately it’s back fire them because at some point of their life this beautiful woman will walk away. So you wonder why at the first place she wanted or he wanted to be in your life. The irony of this whole chikaboom; it’s going to be the same thing for the young beautiful woman or man who is now aging and face the same dilemma as the man or the woman who choose her or him at the first place.
Which mean – don’t play with someone heart!
Dating could be harsh and hard because you have to figure out all the boxes without seeing the future but thinking and re-thinking of what you want in your life. Be safe because some men or women will go to the extreme to hurt you, control you and no matter what the ending might not be good.
Have the guts to stand out! In a kind way but do not fear and be fearless. Confident but honest and keep it simple.
Some people are so fed up with the dating bullshit sorry my language but it is true which is why we rather be alone with less drama then having drama and babysit a man or woman for his or her needs. However it can only last for so long and like I was saying loneliness can be very hard on some people.
And now with this Covic pandemic it just make it worse for everyone. Anyone and everyone need that connection that touch, that hug. Unfortunately news, social media and government don’t make it easy because in the back of our mind we all want to be safe. But now its turn to text messenger, skype and social distance! How is that working for you so far?
Don’t take me wrong. I am happy from what I have accomplish and done in my life. We all have our baggage from good to bad. I decided to walk away and divorce 4 years ago. There is no need to put down someone for any reason or hurt anyone but at the end of the day – it was not working anymore.
Relationship is built on TRUST and it’s takes 2 peoples to make this work. Communication, respect and support without judging the other by loving this person for who she is or he is will bring you further down the road then anyone.
Because we are out of number as a women; my advise, don’t chase. It’s not worth it nor not need it. Don’t be a gold digger. It will only hurt you more down the road. Don’t chase any married men or women. This is not fair for the wife or husband from this beautiful relationship who might not know or vice versa. If the husband or the wife is not happy; he or she should resolve his or her conflict before he or she start playing with someone else heart. Don’t go fishing thinking you might find someone better then you’ll think about divorce after. It’s not right and the triangle will only make it worse mostly if you do have kids involved which is not fair for them.
Take the time to heal from the past relationship. Take the time to growth and find yourself first for the things that make you happy. Resolve any issue you might have in your life. We all have a past, which make us stronger, but if you are still dealing with un-resolved element in your life; it’s not fair for the next person you are dating.
Above and everything else; if the opportunity do come to a date make sure you know what you want and the type of person you want to be surrounded. I was asked recently what was my type. Honestly I didn’t know exactly what type I wanted but thinking about it afterward I guess I do know the type I would like to find.
Everyone type is different but I guess in a way it’s important that there is an attraction physically. As much as I want to find the deep soul, the respect, the kindness, the hug and the honesty it’s important that there is a physical attraction in some way some how.
This is where you have to think at what you are looking for without being too demanding but keep it simple from the basic of what you are looking for. Be honest with yourself. It’s ok to have criteria. This is what makes us different in so many ways. I can just hear; how is that working for you?
I know women always want more and expect more. I am not high maintenance but from the world we are living right now; it’s important to have these criteria because the normal we used to know is not our normal anymore.
Life is too short but at the same time you don’t want to fall in the same pattern. How many times we hear so many women saying this is so different from my last relationship but as life goes on it’s the same pattern they fall through the crack. There is a time of your life that you have to re-think if what you had through your past relationship is what you want in your next. Take this as lesson of life. You need to feel the butterfly and even though you feel it through text chatting it has to be the same once you meet that person. It has to be 50/50 when you want to meet someone. Use your judgement and mostly your instinct.
Yes the butterfly will go away eventually if you are still in this dating period with the same person but make sure you take the time to know the person for who she is or he is. Don’t think more then that but knowing the person is crucial as we all are different.
Personality wise will come through and this is where you will know if this is a good match.
Remember one door close another one open. In everything we do in life. But make sure you find your happiness first. Temptation is there but be stronger as a person for what you are looking for without hurting anyone.
The essence of life is to learn and make a difference. Some has a better luck then other and some struggle more then others. At the end don’t give up and be yourself. Stay Safe and use your instinct. It will happen when you least expected.
I am not afraid to express myself and tell the way it is. This is life and we all go through similar or worse situation but there is always hope and no matter what there is always a great light at the end of our journey.
Make sure you find yourself first and be happy no matter what. Don’t project someone else hoping to catch the right fish but be you in all angles. Don’t control what you can’t but adjust your sailing to where you want to go. Let it be and be happy.
Why am I doing this; I love writing and I think people get lost through Love which is a big word. People want to find love but seem vague, as it’s not about love at first but the right connection. There is no love at first but attraction to great personality. Love is when finally you find someone that matches you that understand you and respect you for the things you do and did. You appreciate his or her touch, kindness and a deeper soul you need it the most where you two can growth like a flower, a tree with elegance and beauty.
My journey is not finish everything happens for a reason; there is this quotes I am profound about which is so true. Even though age is just a number and life is catching up to me, I am happy for the things I did or do and if by o means one day if I can share my joy with someone soviet if not I am still the same person and still very happy surrounded by the greatest friends that I love and care.
Best luck
Julie K.