When I did not get pregnant within a year, we decided on two parallel avenues: i) check if there were any physical issues preventing getting pregnant and if so fix them and/or try medical assisted pregnancy; and ii) enter the procedure to obtain an adoption permit.
Both options ran in the background of our lives while working hard and playing with friends and family.
We found out we were both 100% healthy and after a couple of unsuccesful medical assisted attempts I was fed up with it. I felt totally weird and disconnected laying in a hospitalbed, legs widespread under harsh lights getting my multitude of stimulated eggs harvested. 😜 I concluded that if Marc wanted to become a biological father he had to find another partner. Marc did not like the medical road as well and discovered that he did not care about the biological aspect of fatherhood and that he felt able and willing to love all children in our care. We stopped all medical procedures and felt content continuing the adoption path.
It appeared we had an unusual wish: adopt three children (or more) at the same time. This meant more physical and psychological tests, also our parents were asked to write testimonials, and our financial situation got analysed.
After four years we got the official adoption permit (valid for one year) and we decided to take a break from it all. After all, we had a very comfortable life, interesting work, great money, wonderful friends. Did we really still want to adopt? Some of our best friends advised against it. Why risk upsetting a perfect life and a super loving relationship?
A couple of months before the permit expired, we went on holiday together to reach our final decision. Away from our hectic fun lives, we realised that to us a future without the love, responsibility and care for children felt too shallow. On coming back, we gave the final ok for our file to be sent to Brazil for matching; the country of our choice.
While waiting for the matching to occur, we decided - in July 2005 - to move to the Caribbean island Curacao as one of our companies was registered there. We felt strongly that in leaving our comfortable life in Holland, we were creating a level playing field for our future family; all of us living in a new country with no known friends or family to turn to for help. And we imagined that by doing so, we would naturally gravitate towards each other quicker as a brand new family.
In December of 2005 we received notice from Brazil; our file had been matched with three siblings in need of parents.
I remember vividly the night of 15 January 2006 in a hotel in Curitiba, Brazil; our last night as a couple with no kids.
The next day we met Leticia (9), Felipe (almost 5) and Lucimari (3,5).
The start of a new life for all of us...
To be cont'd.
