I wrote this song for my friend Terrence Crutcher
.. i knew and love Terrence ,I loved him very much . Im a widowed woman who lost 2 children and isolated from the ptsd i gained from discrimination against me in our country I find it hard to trust humans, but Terrence Crutcher was very kind and gentle. My youngest daughter Star called him bign' and loved him like he was santa. Its not only the fact that he was there but how very soft he could be when i needed him , never did I have to ask for kindness it was just there. Its disgusting to hear people talk about him now , like smoking pot was an epic crime , like he had pcp in his car. Terrence was on his way home from school and his car broke down. Did we forget so fast how they just found a tulsa oklahoma cop guilty of rapping women??? I'm not black but iv been a tattoo artist for over 13 years and i have over 200 tattoos, (((kinda makes me colored by choice))) so i understand the feeling of having some one think your evil by the first glance. Becoming a widow, and loosing my own daughters for the excuse of looking evil , drove me to become dakini guru , a Buddhist holy woman isnt a trusted figure in America, but i am who i am. And in Stillwater Oklahoma on my 22nd birthday a man in Stillwater Oklahoma tried to rape me and i called 911 .. but even though I called 911 they arrested me for public intoxication because i beat that rapists ass and was waiting for them OUTSIDE. when I went to court for the 'PI' the cops got on the stand and said I told him the guy didnt try to rape me, and because I had a possession of a marijuana pipe 4 years earlier the judge refused to believe me . I was humiliated and called a lawyer because they knew i smoked pot 4 years ago ..... that my Oklahoma... thats our entire America. Denial of the problem doesn't erase the pain.