EVERY GENDER IS IMPORTANT AND DESERVES TO BE LOVED EQUALLY

in love •  7 years ago 

I've heard and seen women weep bitterly for having the same sex of children up to three or four or more. The one that struck me most was a woman I met some weeks ago who looked devastated because according to her, she has five male children and her husband is threatening to marry another wife who will bear him a female child and also help in the kitchen.
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Most times when I pray, I ask God to grant people(married and unmarried) their heart desires so they don't fall into temptations that are worst than their present "acclaimed" affliction. But human needs are insatiable and it takes a great mind and contentment to be grateful for the things we have, with expectations that things will be better and as wished. This doesn't mean one party should be castigated and humiliated for what should be seen on natural grounds. Thanks to science and technology that has shown and proven possible ways to which some issues could be curbed without necessarily causing so much pain to another.
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It's really unbelievable how a man who claims to love and stand by his wife for better or worse would opt for a divorce or a second wife on the grounds of being unable to give birth to the gender he desires. That happened in the old testament and I know Jesus came to abolish such obnoxious laws. Procreation has always been the mutual efforts of the two persons involved but what bewilders me is when the sex of the baby is blamed on one party when it doesn't come out as expected. I've witnessed a scene in the hospital when a man left angrily when he was told the wife got delivered of his fourth daughter. I could imagine the physical, emotional and psychological pain the woman went through when told the husband had left.

Sometime ago when I was surfing the net, I came across a medical article that showed how to calculate and determine the sex of a child. I saw testimonies of people who abided by the rules and it worked for them. I even read a testimony from a couple I know. Maybe some married couples could read about it or talk to a medical practitioner rather than meting out all forms of punishments on their partners who had suffered and stayed with them from when they had nothing. Ignorance is bad but things can work out if well planned, learned and understood.
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A woman emphasizing on being helpless because she has male children is one situation I think is self afflicted due to the notion that male children are not expected to be in the kitchen or exercise any female activity. Then I think of the chefs in presidential lodges and various high places, I think of one person who taught ladies how to tie gele, I think of the many exceptional make-up artists on my list, they're all men. I mean, people's male children. So I don't understand why the sex of a child should let a woman feel deprived by nature. The earlier you allow your male or female child take responsibility for his or her action, the better for the both of you, not when a child is of age to wash his plate but you tell him you'll wash it or delegate it to your maid who might even be a male too. How ironical. Very little things culminates into domestic violence in the later age of a male child, his inability to take responsibility for his actions and the belief that someone must always be on standby to take care of the very minor things he should do, is one of the many reasons.

Biblically and legally written, I haven't read why divorce should be opted for on the grounds of having the same sex of children. Maybe I haven't read to that point, but if by any means there is, I'd love to read it as well. But I'd still maintain my grounds that it is unfair to treat a woman inhumanly for a situation she didn't willingly put herself into. Maybe we could put ourselves in the shoes of others, then we'd slightly understand how it feels to be maltreated or better still, pray for an understanding mind. If it happens that a man who maltreats the wife dies today, he's leaving with none of his children and no matter how nice and generous he must have been to other people on earth, he could be denied the heaven he used to pray and fast for because of how he maltreated his wife. The sex of a child is not an excuse for adultery.

P.S: While we're being strict and protecting our female children from hanging out with guys in order not to become pregnant and bring shame to us, we should also caution them on the female friends they should keep. Speaking in tongues might not cast out the hindering factors of lesbianism in your child. Let's also advise our female children to pray for their own husbands and not pray for a marriage to be broken so they can jump in as new or second wives. Nobody can tell what might befall her.

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