FLIRTING VS CHEATING

in love •  7 years ago 

Cornel stormed out of the chinese restaurant at West end avenue. He was raving mad and so green with envy. One look at him and you know this is not the right time to mess with him. He was furious. Did Khloe just flirt with another man while he was there? She had excused herself to go use the convenience two minutes ago only for Cornel to look behind and see her talking to a handsome well dressed gentleman with broad shoulders and a well chiseled face. No, Cornel wasn't angry because he was handsome, he was angry because Khloe was flirting with him.
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He saw them locking eyes and letting the moment linger. He saw her blush severally and twist her long hair behind her back with her right hand. Then, he saw it, the exchange of numbers. Hell no way was he going to seat and watch this. Khloe was behind running after him and calling out to him.

Okay, I'm not here to write a fiction. I am here to discuss a controversial topic. Many people have argued it and some are still arguing it. Whatever your stand is, we will get to find out at the end of this post.

Is flirting cheating?

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What is flirting? Flirting is a behaviour. It is an action which suggests one is sexually attracted to the opposite sex.

Nowadays flirting is made so easy with the invent of social media.

It all goes down in the DM's or PM's as the case may be.

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Social media gives one the freedom to be what they want to be including act single and flirt around. While flirting may be fun to some people, it is actually harmful when you are in a serious relationship. If you are invested in your partner, your eyes shouldn't wander. Every relationship has boundaries. When your partner starts feeling like you are no longer respecting the boundaries with how you are behaving with another man or woman, it has become harmful and it is wise you stop.

Some argue that flirting makes them feel good. They believe that flirting keeps them sexually active and makes them feel more attractive. They also argue that it helps them become a better flirt and a better tease hence a better conversationalist. Yes flirting also boosts one's confidence but to what end?

There are basically three types of flirting

1. Harmless flirting: This involves innocent conversations, genuine tease and laughter, side hugs, buying of drinks and basically non-sexual touches.

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2. Touchy Flirtation: this is when it goes beyond the harmless stage to actual sexual touches. Hands on the thighs, full frontal hugs, brushing of the hair, nibbling of the ear lope etc.

3. Talking dirty: here the flirting is already on a very slippery slope. Sexual compliments comes in leading to sexting and then maybe video sex and what have you.

Flirting could be unintentional and begins innocently but progresses blurring the thin line between harmless and inappropriate behaviour.

When does flirting become cheating?
Cheating isnt always about touching, kissing, or having sex with someone other than your partner.

1.Having a dating profile on platforms like Tinder whether you are just there to window-shop or chatting up people is cheating because you are in a virtual space aimed at hooking up and dating.
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What are your intentions? Would you feel comfortable knowing your partner is in one of those dating platform?

2. The moment you start loosing your head over an online friend, counting the hours to chatting with him/her, daydreaming and reminiscing and looking forward to playful Flirtation is a clear sign that you are cheating. Your head is no longer with your partner.

3. When you see the needs to keep this person a secret and start deleting conversations because you are guilt ridden that you sharing emotions and doing stuff which when seen by your partner might put a strain on your relationship then you are cheating. I don't even want to talk about having to password your phone.

Ask yourself these questions when next you are flirting:-

* Do I need to keep this a secret?
* Do I think about my Flirtatious friend a lot?
* Would I rather discuss my emotional issue with him than with my partner?
* How will I feel if I find out my partner is doing this same thing I am doing?

QUESTION FOR DISCUSS

As much as flirting may be a form of cheating, does it mean that being in a relationship means banning all happy interactions with the opposite sex?

I would love to read your opinions.

Until I write again

Yours truly

@zizymena.

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To me i think its not a crime talking to the opposite sex just because you are in a relationship it can be a harmless conversation between you both but when you start seeing that the conversation is drifting to anothee direction then you make him understand that it shouldnt be that way flirting is normal but it depends on how both partners control their emotions and self discipline is one thing that one should have this is a nice post dear

Self discipline is the watch word but don't you think talking to a "particular" opposite sex could spur up feelings and maybe lead to flirting which starts out as innocent but gradually graduates to sexual?

Yes it could but if its not something you want then take caution change the topic and keep it on a normal level am a victim of such flirty conversations but i got to realise that its not what i want though at that moment if felt so right but i had to snap myself back to reality cos i wouldnt want to hurt my partner cos of lustful thinking and desires its all about ones self if it graduates to sexual chats and you arent comfortable one can deviate except if the person likes it

Flirting shows cheating tendencies. One of the most important things we have to understand
before getting married is that your partner is not the last person you will be attracted to, not the last person you will fall in love with and not the last person you will want to have sex with. If you can accept this and also see that you are not the last person your partner will love , you can move forward.

Truetalk

This is a really great post @zizymena. I think the difference is very much touch-line soccer..