10 Things I Learned in the First Year of Marriage
How can two walk together except they agree? I’m not saying that we agreed on everything, in fact we found ourselves disagreeing. Couples sometimes find themselves on the far left and far right of an issue. The trick is for both to walk toward the middle. A couple can’t walk hand in hand, walking in two different directions.
We had to learn how to forgive, then forgive some more. We all mess up, forget, misunderstand and ultimately fall short of the other spouse’s expectations. When, not if, we do the other spouse has to have enough grace to make room for that person’s screw-ups
I had to learn to listen for the purpose of being informed or being improved upon.
I learned how to disagree. A disagreement is just communicating opposing points of view. A disagreement becomes an argument as soon as one or both spouses feels disrespected. Once an argument starts, words shoot out of people’s mouths like bullets and it can get nasty and hurtful.
Talk about the big three... money, kids and household work. Nothing started a disagreement like these three. If they are not talked about beforehand, you likely will find out that the other spouse is far removed from what the other thinks
I had to find out what the makes the other her tick. What pisses her off? What makes her happy, sad, aggravated, etc? Find out what how your loved one handles anger, stress, disappointment, sadness, happiness, surprise, excitement; both positive and negative emotions.
I had to learn that it is ok to get some me-time. No matter how perfect of a couple two people may be, everyone is still an individual and needs some alone time.
Sex ain’t everything but while you’re having it, it is!!!
We had to figure out that somebody has to have the final say. I know people say marriage is a partnership. While that’s true most of the time, if an impasses exists and a decision must be made, the position of head has to be able to make a decision and that decision must be respected. No organization, government, business or marriage has two heads. Commercial airlines have two pilots. Both are capable to do the job, but only one is captain. Submission is a responsibility.
We had to find time to pray and read the Bible together. It creates commonality and strengthens the couple by giving examples and standards to live by.