I know why it’s torture.
It’s because I was on the right path.
There is a man who told me more than once that easiness and pleasure don’t always mean you are on the right way. Yes, we have been taught that happiness is the sign we are moving in the right direction, but this system purposely failed to mention that “happiness” doesn’t necessarily mean “easy” or “pleasant”. These words are not always synonyms, and when it comes to self-development, spiritual growth, and changing yourself and the physical matrix of the world... The system will do anything to make one feel like shit.
To our brain and our nervous system, feeling pain is a clear sign to back off, retreat, leave. It screams “wrong”, it screams “danger”. Whereas when there is comfort, pleasure, and reassurance, we think we are all right.