Sleep Paralysis

First, let me start by saying that I am currently 46 years old. I was born in 1971. This was well before the internet and it made understanding anything more scientific next to impossible. Unless, of course, the information you were looking for was included in a volume of Britannica's encyclopedias or you had access to a well stocked public library in which you could access medical text books. 

The first time I remember having a sleep paralysis experience was when I was 12 years old. 

If you're not familiar with sleep paralysis, apparently it is a curious neurological process whereby the physical body becomes unable to move voluntarily. This can occur just as someone is about to fall asleep or just as they are waking up. When it occurs the person who is experiencing the phenomenon will be able to see and hear what's happening around them but they will not be able to move their body at all or, very well. They also won't be able to talk beyond a mere whisper.

Most people who experience these episodes report being aware of "a presence" in the room with them. The presence is never comforting. In fact, it is exactly the opposite and feels like you are being threatened or attacked because you are unable to move while the experience is occurring. An extreme sense of terror is often described.

Statistically, 60% of the general population will report experiencing some form of sleep paralysis during their lifetime, according to neurological medical studies. Scientists think this phenomenon has its roots in the temporoparietal cortex of the brain and it is linked to both "out of body" and "near death" experiences.

It is suggested that perhaps, neural wiring gets crossed in the brain, or goes a bit haywire.

My first episode involved a visit from 3 small grey creatures just as I was waking up one morning and about to get out of bed. I distinctly remember hearing multiple foot steps coming down the hall towards the room I was in, then not being able to move, but I could still see and hear. They stood at the foot of my bed, communicating amoungst themselves. It seemed like an eternity to me because I couldn't move my body and when I tried to scream for help, the only thing I could manage to generate was a whisper at best. Then they left and my ability to move returned. I immediately got up and got dresses. Later that morning, I told my father what happened. He told me not to be afraid, that my brain had just woken up before my body had.

Through my adolescence, I continued to have similar episodes. I always heard the footsteps coming towards me and it became an early warning sign that I was going to have a sleep paralysis experience.

The most terrifying episode that occurred happened when I was 18.

This experience was different in that I was alone in the house and I wasn't visited by small creatures or entities. This time it was one creature that was over six feet tall and I knew it wasn't human.

It physically restrained me, in the bed I was lying in, came around to my head and shoulder, bent down close to my face and laughed very sadistically.

To say I was terrified was an understatement. In my head, (because I was unable to scream or talk) I told "it" that it wasn't welcome and demanded that it leave me alone. 

It left and I immediately got dressed and started cleaning my house. I was really shaken-up by this particular experience and I thought that occupying my mind with housework would help to take my mind off of what had just happened. I tried to remind myself that this was my brain, but I couldn't shake the fear that I was feeling. 

I decided to do a load of laundry simultaneously among the other chores, that I was doing. I washed a load and then threw that load in the dryer while I was vacuuming and cleaning the kitchen.  When the dryer had stopped after about an hour, I took the clothes directly out of the dryer in my arms and carried the full load to my bed to start folding it. I immediately realized that some of the clothes weren't quite dry, so I scooped them back up off my bed and put them back in the dryer for another 20 minutes or so. 

After the dryer stopped for the second time, I did the exact same thing and took the clothes back to the surface of my bed so that I could fold them and put them in my dresser.

It was then, that I looked up and saw a "sock" completely evenly draped over the current rod above the window over the head of my bed.

"That's odd" I thought. "How would a sock end up completely balanced and draped over top of my curtain rod?"

I had to stand on the top of my bed to retrieve it, because I couldn't reach it.

A wave of fear instantly swept over me. The sock was still wet. It was one that I had just washed but it hadn't made it into the dryer for round two of drying. Its "dried" mate was lying on top of my bed, waiting to be paired and folded.

I had to leave my house because I didn't feel safe.

That night, I made an appointment with one of the elders at my childhood church. I had grown up with this congregation and thought surely they could offer some guidance.

Once I had re-counted this story, the response I received from the church representative was a question as to whether I had been drinking and was drunk. "Yeah, I thought, I routinely get up at 5:00 am, to get plastered so that I can go back to bed and hallucinate." That was the end of my relationship with organized religion.

The only entity that has the right to judge you, is you, yourself.

It took me twenty more years to learn that.

I continue to this day to experience bouts of sleep paralysis, lucid dreaming and out of body experiences. I am also an empath and in the last 12 years have realized that I now have very strong clairaudiance skills. I have used this skill to help others come to terms with and reconcile unresolved issues. 

On a personal note, I no longer fear these episodes and have learned to be very clear about what I will tolerate and what I won't.

The best piece of advice I can give anyone who may be experiencing sleep paralysis is to do your best not to focus on the fear of not being able to move, but instead to focus on breathing rhythmically or sing your favourite song in your head while it's happening.

(It's great to finally be able to easily access information about the science of this, now that studies are readily made available through the internet.) 

I know that this is a real "stretch of the mind" for many and my story is hard to believe.

The choice to believe or not is up to each person, individually. 

I can tell you (from my own experiences) that the light at the end of the tunnel does exist. To make the leap into another reality when the time presents, just follow the light that will be apparent to you at the end of the tunnel.

My motivation for sharing this information, is to help others.

I will do my best to respond to your comments and I invite you to follow me on my journey.

~ Rebecca Ryan