Had an adventure attempting to withdraw bitcoin from a btm. Good thing a misadventure is still an adventure! ;) So took the trek to drop my ma part of the family in the city today. Thought it could be a good opportunity to withdraw some bitcoin as I could really use the funds. Thought hey I could cash in since it takes me an hour and a half to get to the city to access a bitcoin atm.
I looked at the location for the 2 way bitcoin atm at a coffee shop and it said open until 9. When I got there it was 5:50. I immediately go to the atm. I just bought a pre paid credit card to pay my phone bill online plus needed some extra cash. I choose to withdraw $180. The btm takes 10% to buy or sell. I think it's fair enough cause I support bitcoin in the open world. I get the receipt saying transaction unconfirmed and get a notification on the phone about the redeem code. Btm says 10 minutes to confirm transaction. Just then the shop keep says - "closing in 10 minutes". I wait until there is 3 minutes remaining and I'm the last one there. I have an anxiety issue so I guess I just walked out cause everyone else left. I figure there is another btm exactly like this at another coffee shop open later 6 minutes from my location.
It takes 45 seconds to walk from the door of the coffee shop to the car. When I start the car I get the final message on the phone saying to redeem the code at the btm for the cash. I figure too late and go to the next coffee shop. I don't like driving or driving in the city so I start getting a bit more anxious. I get to the next coffee shop and I can't figure out how to redeem the code. It says buy and sell and it's the same make of bitcoin atm but I see no redeem code option. Go to sell menu over and over and it just tries to get you to start again. The atm sends the confirm code to verify phone number and I attempt to input the redeem code there cause I see no other option to put in a code.
Oh boy... this is where it gets embarrassing. I start thinking about how much I need that $180, how I don't want to drive back to the city...can't afford much. I start sobbing at the btm for awhile. Ask the coffee barista if they know how to withdraw. They tell me this btm is a one way only. I'm thinking...why do they have the option of buying and selling on this particular atm if you can't actually sell. It was getting late. I had to go.
I drive to 2 more locations. One - the the store no longer exists. The second - closed. I drive around frustrated and panicked. I know I can't afford to do that. All these memories flood back of being frustrated with money while trying to help my mentally ill mom. I got her hospitalised cause she stopped eating and bathing. In those days I had high anxiety and I drove through a red light. That was so scary. I gotta remind myself - so you had a glitch, so what!? your life is more important.
I realised I watched too much t.v. over the holiday and this makes me anxious too. I've been thinking about 2016 and all the brutal stuff in the world, from Allepo to the noDAPL movement, to Trump to the mass media world of fake news and false flags. I know that I had to stand away from the hype. Have a moment of silence. Remember that life is sacred In a solemn and sombre way. And sober way! Remember yourself, your close family, your community. Life is precious, cant let money or even bitcoin get me upset. It's only numbers and I am not a number even if the institutions and governments act like they deem me one. It's zeroes and ones versus X's and O's.
Re experiencing that anxiety was good. It reminds me I still have that intense emotion. I must stay calm to respect it even if that could seem funny. Glad this day is over. Tomorrows another day. And well I just gotta be patient. I sent the money to the btm. It's on the blockchain. There is a local number. All I gotta do is phone during business hours and say I have a redeem code for $180 worth of bitcoin. I live out of the city. So ask about ensuring a way to redeem so I don't waste another trip. It's all on the blockchain. Don't worry.
I have been feeling and doing good lately too! In the last few days I've been feeling different. Feeling more upbeat and back to myself. Sometimes I realise I've been sad for a long time and wasn't aware of the degree. That is where my anxiety attacks do come in handy to remind me of the pressure I feel. Whew! Breathe! I got a great thing going! and came along way! Wow I'm a feeling person! So I'll just keep working on the craft and not get too sad. Ahh, get mad and glad!
