"Easy Open!" Packaging... and Other Commercial Lies!

I always start to worry when something advertises itself to be "easy," or "valuable" or "trustworthy" or anything else like that.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to open a package of those bake-at-home cinnamon rolls in the cardboard tube when that little "tab" you're supposed to pull to peel off the outer label... leaves you standing there with about a 1/4" long piece of paper?

That just happened... we have houseguests, and we're trying to make some breakfast food.

This looks more peaceful!

A knife, a spoon, a meat cleaver and 10 minutes of effort later, the stupid package is open!

I hate so-called "Easy Open!" packaging with a passion.

Then there's that "string" sealing on large bags of rice, or bird seed. No matter what you do, you always end up with the wrong end of the string and end up tying the bag closed, rather than opening it. Or failing that, you have to untie every single little knot, one at a time... till you get so frustrated you just take a pair of scissors and cut the entire top OFF.

How about prescription drug containers?

"Sealed for your protection!"

That's nice. We call those "Adult Proof," because evidently no functional adult can get into them, but a toddler seems capable of spreading the contents everywhere in a matter of seven seconds...

"Tear off top and reseal!" Yeah, you know, the ones you see on packages of slices cheese and salami. You "tear here" and then stand there with a tiny corner of plastic and a hermetically sealed package of cheese... and a sandwich that's slowly getting soggy while you fight the packaging.

So I have to wander off to my toolbox to get a pair of pliers to grab the ridiculously short little stub where the pull tab broke, and eventually get the package open... having discovered that the machine that was to have pre-perforated the packaging actually failed to do so. Or had a worn-out blade. Or something.

Yes, it's spring! Have some really prosaic flowers....

Of course, sometimes those tear-off jobbies do work... and then you discover that the helpful little notch in the plastic was actually below the reclosing mechanism... so you just ripped the seal OFF, altogether. And the bag is now utterly NOT resealable...

Yup, that's really useful.

I don't trust that stuff.

It's like "Honest Ed's Used Cars." If Ed actually has to point out that he's honest, it's a really good bet he's anything but honest, right?

Or those billboards on the freeway: "Call Ed Rippemoff! An attorney you can TRUST!" That's a likely story...

Just some morning thoughts, before I get ready to go to work.

Have a wonderful week, everyone! And stay away from those "adult proof" packages...

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Created at 190401 10:32 PST
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