Two books I recommend...But first, a story

I was thinking about how glad I was that I spent some time digging through my local library about 2 years ago, when I discovered two good books that caused me to look at my relationship with money in a new way.

I read a good variety, but most just offered simple encouragement. I don't consider that to be a bad thing, but they tend to lean hard on the management of finances or statistics that just compare the behaviors of those who have experienced financial success versus those who have not.

While I do believe managing your money and studying the behaviors of those who have loads of it are part of it, they don't quite get at the root of the problem. For those who are in the thick of existential/financial crises, a budget will only take you so far - when I was in the thick of it, all I could think of was a better paying job, a tighter budget, and where the fuck is all the money I need going to come from? I was out of ideas, and too overextended at work to see the forest through the trees.

When you need ideas for your business, copying other people’s behaviors only goes so far, too. As a musician, it’s not about what I use to make my art, it’s how I use it, and the story I’m trying to tell. It’s not really you when you plagiarize, anyways, and I hope you relish the thought of being the one that everyone else is trying to emulate. I’ll ask this question as an extension:

If you can be artistic with anything(even math), what’s your signature?

I challenge you to think of ways in which you can practice what you do for a living as a form of art - you might begin to see things less in terms of productivity, and more in terms of an expression of how you are - which I believe to be ultimately the key to understanding your true value to your clients.

As I mentioned before, I grew up in an area where drugs and cycles of abuse were pretty rampant, which had a huge effect on my relationship with myself and others. I had trouble seeing my value beyond what I could produce as a 'hard worker.' I took pride in my ability to work diligently, to push through difficult emotional days and complete what my employers had tasked me with, regardless of what it did to me.

A few jobs deep out of highschool, I stopped thinking about careers and just tried to stay afloat as I tried to write and record music, crossing my fingers that I would get lucky and just-so-happen to play in front of someone with all the money to front my tour-de-force platinum album(Read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers if you want to believe in getting lucky). I don’t mean to discount my belief in my musical abilities, in fact - I want to empower you to trust in your own ability to pursue your crazy dreams to the absolute craziest end, so when I talk about how I look back on it now I only mean to say I was trying my hardest to succeed, despite being oblivious to how I was keeping myself far from it.

Before I was able to make good use of my true talents and gifts, I never noticed how I had allowed the market to decide my career. The businesses I had worked for had found ways of exploiting workers like me, because I was always drifting into jobs that I thought would be stable and lucrative for someone of my background. I looked for jobs that paid a little more than what I was making, and often ended up accepting the same rate - anything else would cause me to sweat profusely when I thought of actually getting an interview. I’m embarrassed to think of the emails I wrote to people attempting to explain away 2 years of unemployment when the financial crises in 2007 made jobs in my town scarcer than a decent pen in a post office.

I also lied, constantly, about why I wanted to work for them, because I knew no one would hire someone who would openly admit just needing some kind of paycheck to survive. I saw that everyone else who had what my buddies would call 'adult' jobs had just gotten lucky - they had simply received the education and financial resources that gave them access to higher paying jobs.

However, since I had no financial support, I blamed my financial instability on my parents, my bosses, my coworkers, company culture - anything but the reasons that were actually holding me back. I was determined to avoid committing to my true passions, because I believed that they didn’t offer enough value to others to merit supporting my needs.

I went to college on and off, too, taking up classes in psychology, music, biology, eventually setting my sights on an osteopathic medicine degree, eventually giving up when my favorite environmental science professor shared some academic research stories that spooked me, and I swore it off ever since.

When I went through an especially dark period of my life, I began to question how I defined success. My parents had no experience in building their own business, and made their conclusions clear about my ability to find financial success as an artist. Determined to push me into stable careers based on what they believed to be common sense(and the merits of maintaining a 'solid work ethic' ), I eventually learned to keep my opinions to myself. When I moved out at 19, I thought I was free, but it took years before I realized I was still hanging on to ideas that were hurting me.

On my own, I lived with roommate after roommate, burning bridges with friends and coworkers every time I lost a job or fell in love, but I could pick up anything you could throw at me without complaining about the job description, so I just kept on truckin’. I was just, ‘unlucky,’ I reasoned.

I went from job to job(I count 17 since my first job at an irrigation parts store in my junior year of highschool) and from industry to industry. I was a sales agent, customer service specialist, data entry clerk, barista, sandwich artist, raw food kitchen prep chef, conveyance mechanic, private driver, warehouse worker, risk coordinator, you get the point - the kitchen sink has nothing on me.

I was getting fed up with my anxiety over money problems, and when I got in an accident that forced me to relocate and begin looking for work in ANOTHER industry, I started reading books on finances. I picked up Rich Dad, Poor Dad, I picked up Warren Buffett books, I picked up books about Warren Buffett books, I picked up personal finance books, and I picked up what I would now call ‘spiritual finance,’ books that talk about money in spiritual terms, like ‘manifesting,’ and ‘clearing your root chakra.’ I won’t lie, some of the spiritual books did help me figure out some deep self-worth issues, but that’s another article I aim to write, so I’ll save it for later.

What I started to notice about financial books was that there were a lot of books that focus on a lot of boring concepts like:

Grinding - Because everyone hates work, it’s normal, even expected, to wake up every day in an existential crises?

Saving up for your retirement - So you can then do what gives you purpose

Networking - So you can get more money, not so you can create lasting relationships? We know stereotypes...

Making a budget - Budgets just reveal our priorities? We have to actually look at where our priorities are to grow from this...

401k plans - Trust us with all this money while we do risky things with it behind your back. Oh, and sign here where it says it’s your fault.

Credit is the devil! - Ok I kinda sorta agree with this one, but not always. People just obviously really suck at using it appropriately.

So my point is there are tons of books that seriously miss the target for those interested in getting out from behind debt and crushing anxiety about their purpose.

I have found that the only thing that helped me get through my darkest hour was both realizing my true talents and gifts, and actually starting to take action steps towards making good use of them. You might think based on how I described those topics as ‘boring,’ that I don’t get how the numbers add up for you, that I don’t take it seriously, but let me tell you - I still owe on my student debt, I still owe plenty of people and banks money, and there are still some nights I stay up thinking about it.

The difference for me now is, I stopped thinking about running away from it all, and I stopped thinking I had no way out. I figured out ways to move myself forward, towards where I feel great when I am challenged and stretched, and away from places that fail to engage my senses.

So, while this isn’t an article that I would say is conclusive, I want to bring in two books that broke my little money loving heart into pieces, and forced me to leave everything I knew behind. I feel a deep sense of satisfaction being able to share words about these brilliant minds.

Number One for me: Killing Sacred Cows: Overcoming the Financial Myths That Are Destroying Your Prosperity by Garrett B. Gunderson and Stephen Palmer

Number Two for me: On the Wealth of Nations by P.J. O’Rourke

Killing Sacred Cows was rough for me - I could only make it through a chapter each time I sat down to read it, because I would rant and rave at my partner about how seriously bullshit everything was every time I would pick it up, and it took days for me to process through all the emotional baggage tied to each of the myths Garrett breaks down. I was mad for a good 3 months after reading this, and I don’t want to spoil anything for you, but I just really, really believe this book has something for anyone who was raised to believe in going all-in on their 401k plan, or really just anyone who knows they need to take a risk and go all-in on their small business/empire but haven’t yet. Subjects include but not limited to: Insurance, credit cards, risk assessment, and how to spot a fake financial advisor.

On the Wealth of Nations by P.J. O’Rourke was my way out of reading Adam Smith’s The Wealth of Nations. Just being honest. But seriously, hearing someone talk about Adam Smith’s work in an approachable fashion gave me an appreciation for the philosophy of economics, and to understand how all of us can benefit from participating in exchanges of value, no matter the differences between us. There are tons of little nuggets in this book, and I seriously can’t wait for you to read it. We all have a massive ability to generate value for others, and his understanding of the system of things and how we all play into it is just beyond me. I want to explain more, but I just...can’t. He does it better. Read it!

I wish I could get into each book and quote to you, but it’s not my style - just...if you share anything in common with me and what I’ve been through, know that these books have the potential to change your life if you actually apply these concepts in a real and action-oriented way. There are more concrete examples in Killing Sacred Cows of how to actually make changes, so I recommend it for those who are not interested in the ‘bird’s eye view’ method of looking at making money. In fact, I just recommend reading Killing Sacred Cows first, and then reading On the Wealth of Nations after you’ve been thoroughly scoured and conflagrated.

Again, I’m not here to tell you ‘that’s it, that’s all that needs doing,’ in terms of reading about money, but after I read those two books I stopped being interested in reading about money ever since, and I started focusing on pouring everything I had into recognizing my ability to create value for others. I feel seriously empowered and educated by these books, and while I’m not a millionaire, I feel like one when I start to think about all the crazy shit I’m going to build while I’m alive, and I just really want you to feel that way too, because why the fuck not? Build yours too! I’m sure we’ll find something to trade :)

Cheers to you living in a fucking castle, decorated with the trophies of the slain enemies of your mind,

Collectivenectar

Special thanks to : Gary Vaynerchuk - My pseudo father figure of sorts - Check his shit out!