Being Mormon, Taking Shrooms, and Crushing on my Best Friend

I grew up super sheltered. I was raised on a small island in Alaska where everyone knew me and I knew everyone. I was also raised Mormon, and let me tell you, that takes a lot of religious dedication. Did you know church is 3 hours long every Sunday? Then there is youth group on Wednesday nights and once I hit high school, seminary. Seminary is basically bible study every morning before school and lasts all four years of high school. Normal Mormon expectations are to get baptized at 8, get into BYU (which I didn’t, but that’s another story) and marry a sweet Mormon boy.

BOY. I was raised into thinking that my only option was to be with a guy. I didn’t even consider the fact that I could be with a girl, even when I started having feelings for my high school best friend.

This is where the shrooms come into play. This is the first time I realized I was attracted to girls.When I graduated high school I moved to Oregon. I broke up with a guy that I had been dating for two years and started dating this new guy. He was awesome, or still is, I’m not really sure. Anyways, He was 5 years older than me, already had his college degree, was a great bartender, could cook like a madman, and was just all around super nice. He had a friend that he played music with, they had like a guitar and drums duo and would get together sometimes. His friend was also really cool and I thought my best friend (who was living in Oregon also) would be interested in him.Long story short we all get together and I took mushrooms for the first time. It was absolutely fantastic, best most pleasurable experience of my life. Every bite of food I took I had a very powerful orgasm, I was so embarrassed I stopped eating.

Instead, I became friends with a juice box and half of a peach.

They both were talking to me and told me to go into the bathroom of which I did. I shut myself in the bathroom for about two hours with these two objects who convinced me that I was actually really attracted to girls, not boys.

So, every time after that experience, I looked at my best friend differently. I was attracted to her, I wanted to kiss her. I never did though, being that I grew up Mormon and didn’t understand my feelings because I was told all my life that those feelings were wrong and sinful.

She really is beautiful though.

So I never did anything and didn’t realize that I could actually be in a lesbian relationship until I moved across the country and met this other beautiful woman and experienced things that were so new and exciting.

I am married now. NOT to a good Mormon boy, but to a good guy, he lets me be with girls if I want. Freedom is a very powerful thing.