October 12, 2017

I had a friend who was scared of some people online stalking her for being in the BDS movement. I was trying to show solidarity when I sent my info as a "known associate" of hers. She pointed out it didn't matter much because there weren't really pictures of me that showed my face. I wanted her to be unafraid, so I started to take a selfie every day and tagged her in them too. I showed my self.

I was probably asking for it.

I reveal a lot online. I write, and usually personally. I have a few things; facebook, a website, a blog spot. I put a lot out there, as far as details about me go. People feel like they get to know me from a lot of it. There are many personal things revealed that could easily be used as information to feign similarities in lifestyle and belief systems if a person so chose to read for a while before interacting with me. And I would never know. I reveal personal things.

I was probably asking for it.

I really believe that loving others is the reason we are here. Showing care, and kindness, and concern for our fellow human beings is the secret to happiness. I am a perpetual helper. I was taught growing up that if you can do more you should do more. So I do. More. Always. I am generous by nature.

I was probably asking for it.

I was looking for something. And I posted about it. In detail. So it was easy to fake. I revealed my hand.

I was probably asking for it.

I liked that no one knew. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want people to know things, or say things, or expect things. I didn't want to hear anything, for or from either side, about the other. Praise nor prejudice, alike. I enjoyed it. It was fun. I kept a secret.

I was probably asking for it.

I let someone in to my life that I didn't really know. In such a way that they could hurt me. Both personally and financially. Someone that, given the opportunity, would fabricate a bunch of bullshit in order to not deal with his choices and errors. I trusted someone at their word. I believed everything he said. I fell for it all; hook, line and sink 'er! From the lies about sobriety to the lies about caring. From the beginning to the end, all of it was bullshit. Everything. And I believed it.

I was probably asking for it.

I allowed my self to get to a place where I wanted it. In such a way that I would take it, however I could get it.

I was probably asking for it.

It turns out I was "kittenfished" and taken for over 10thousand dollars by someone super well known to a lot of people I know, and it's just like okay that it's a thing. He has a reputation for it. He's a piece of shit. But we'll just sit idly by, and be complacent to it because he has a few funny statuses now and then. It turns out it's ok to allow someone to live in denial while they hurt those around them, even branching outside the borders of the province now, to keep the cocaine flowing and those slots rolling, while calling them your "friend." It turns out, this is how he do ... I am not the first, by God I hope to be the last! May no other girl be eaten up inside by the lies, manipulation, and bullshit love stories of the BigBadWolff.

... and ...

... I was probably asking for it.