Motherhood is special

I remember the time before I had children. I had literally nothing to do except the household chores and little bit of studying. I was too young and naive. My mother in law took that as an opportunity to tell me how unlucky I was to be born as a female and how bad I was to keep her son away from being a father. I slipped into depression and nobody noticed. I badly wanted a baby, but I was not concieving. Visits to doctors got me diagnosed with PCOS ( polycystic ovaries syndrome).

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Doctor told us that I was too young to be put on fertility treatment and I should just keep trying to get pregnant and may or may not get pregnant soon. I had considered myself to cursed and had also made up my mind that I would never be able to be a mother, until god proved otherwise. I got pregnant and within a month miscarried. That made my condition worse. I was inconsolable, but nobody was trying to console me. Funny when I look back now.

Life was miserable until I got pregnant again. Pregnancy was difficult and it made me insane. I was hell scared. If my son missed kicking, I would go mad and demand doctor to get me hear his heart beats. I didn't want to lose him. He was born and his first cry echoes in my ears even today. I was a mother finally and he was my world. No longer was I depressed. People didn't matter to me much. I was busy.

I wonder what would have been my condition if it took a while for me to get pregnant or what if I never got pregnant at all.

Today, the headlines read about a doctor who took her life because she was not getting pregnant. I truly understand her condition for I have been in that situation. It's just family support that can help you in this situation.